Jason Genova is always running, running, running, toward his destiny! Where will he end up in his epic bodybuilding journey? Genova's Witnesses have been tuning in to the ultimate underdog story for almost a decade to find out.
My Story Era (July 2009 - November 2012)
-In summer 2009, a chubby boy named Jason Genova uploads a video to YouTube
called My Storie Part 1 where he proclaims his desire to become a pro
bodybuilder. There seems to be something "off" about
this young man, but nobody can quite put their finger on what. His
delusions and penchant for outrageous and unintentionally hilarious quotes make his videos a
cult comedy hit. He and his crew (Jonas, Joey Joe Joe and Angel J)
continue to upload My Story videos, Jason starts calling out pro
bodybuilders and going on impromptu rants against his "haters". The first major event that propels Jason to fame is when he calls out bodybuilder Mark Alvisi, earning him attention from PJ Braun, Aaron Singerman, Ron Harris, and Layne Norton. At this time, Genova is somewhat well known on bodybuilding.com's Misc forum but is pretty much unknown everywhere else. (Video)
-Jason earns his first arch-rival in Josh Foxx, who used to work at the Gold's Gym frequented by Genova. He constantly mocks Genova for all of his obvious
feud spans a solid year culminating in Josh making a
mockumentary of Jason's "My Storie Part 1". Somewhat surprisingly, Josh Foxx receives an overwhelmingly negative response to this video, proving that Genova's Witnesses may enjoy poking fun at Jason, but deep down they are also protective of him from skinny haters like Josh Foxx. (Video)
-Jason claims that he competed in a bodybuilding show and took 3rd place in it, and he shows off his 3rd place medal on video. However, one viewer claims to have checked the record of the bodybuilding show that was named, and didn't find Jason listed as one of the competitors. What's more, another viewer notices that Jason's medal does not actually say 3rd but rather '03, suggesting that it denotes the year 2003.
-Jason appears on a radio show with Aaron Singerman. He relays a message from Lee Priest who calls Jason out, calling him "retarded" and expressing doubt about his claims that he knows science. This sparks Jason's first ever celebrity feud. Jason insists that he's not retarded, and says that he is now coming out of the closet about being ADD, ODD and dyslexia, comparing himself to Lou Ferrigno. PJ Braun also calls into the show, marking Jason's innocuous first meeting with his future crush "PeeJay." (Video)
-People begin to seriously question whether Genova is for real or if he's just a brilliant Andy Kaufman-esque troll. He releases a video where he's in a gazebo and says that he's about to demonstrate a "crescent kick", a move he learned from the 80s. "Nobody knows about this technique but me." He runs up to the gazebo railing, does a little hop and awkwardly kicks his legs up backwards. The self proclaimed "former semi pro UFC fighter" also shows off his own invention, the "palm kick" where he kicks and punches simultaneously for a devastating double blow. Oh how I wish this video was still around, it was possibly the funniest one of all time.
-A random man named Andrew agrees to film a brief cell phone video of Jason doing a set of leg press in the gym, but the relationship evolves to the point where Andrew gets roped into becoming Jason's regular camera man. He films videos
of Jason working out in the gym rather than the documentary style My Story
videos. Andrew's witty commentary and Jason's interactions with
various members of the gym (many of whom are fascinating weirdos themselves) give the videos a strong sitcom style. It
proves to be a winning formula and his infamy continues to grow. (First video with Andrew)
-Even after Andrew becomes his regular camera man, Jason and his old crew still occasionally release a new My Story installment, the newest ones being My Story Part 6 and My Story Part 7: Macho Man. The latter is quickly flagged and deleted by YouTube due to being inappropriate. Jason spends most of the video calling some girl with braces ugly ("I never wanna have kids with you, the kid will come out all ugly with braces on!"). He also mysteriously has a hillbilly accent for this one video. (Video)
-Jason competes in a bodybuilding show in West Palm Beach. The footage of Jason posing on stage looks hilariously similar to an episode of the comedy show Workaholics where the character Adam DeMamp competes in a bodybuilding show. An incident also occurs where Jason gets horny as fuck and chases a bikini figure model across the stage while she's doing her routine. (Video)
-After finding out that Ron Harris has been mocking Jason, he calls out Ron for being on steroids. He even goes over to the Muscular
Development forums and gets into a flame war with him, much to the amusement of all the spectators. Jason takes everything back, claiming that it was all "fun and games", possibly seeking a sponsorship from Gaspari Nutrition (who sponsor Ron).
-One of Jason's biggest "fans", Gideon, makes the trip all the way from England to hang out with The Spaniard for a day. Andrew and Gideon film the famous video at Target and McDonald's where they indulge The Spaniard's delusions for a day, and he first demonstrates his incredible proficiency at scarfing down fast food at record speeds. He looks at the camera and pleads with Skip LaCour (his first ever celebrity coath) not to be mad because it's just a one-time cheat meal. (Video)
-Jason shows off his autographed Lou Ferrigno picture, and claims that Lou is a big fan of his. After receiving criticism from fans for not knowing how to cook and eating the exact same three microwaved meals every day, The Iron Chef sets out to prove that he eats a wide variety of healthy foods, and attempts to demonstrate by cooking some oatmeal. It becomes hilariously obvious that he has never cooked oatmeal in his life after he just sticks the dry oatmeal in the microwave without adding water and ends up burning it. (Video)
-Jason actually meets up with his former nemesis Ron Harris. Jason trains with and receives advice from Ron, all of which he promptly ignores. (Video)
trains (for free of course) with Skip LaCour, who previously had just given Jason coathing online any by phone. He gives Jason solid
advice, diet and nutrition plans, and free personal training, all of
which Jason ignores. (Video)
-Jason competes in the "Abz of Adoniss" show at about 16% body fat, claiming to finish in 2nd place out of 3 competitors; the guy he finished ahead of had a torn bicep. In the post contest interview conducted by Andrew, the backwards-shirt-wearing Jason says that he did not expect to face such strong competition. When Andrew tells Jason that he should have expected to face competitors with good physiques at a bodybuilding show, Jason says his now legendary quote: "Yeah but sometimes nobody shows up and you automatically win." (Video)
-Jason and Andrew arrive at Delray Fitness early in the morning to film their usual workout video, but the person who unlocks the door hasn't showed up yet. They instead head over to 24 Hour Fitness, and Jason reads a letter on camera from a fan with a cuckolding fetish who wants his girlfriend to live with Jason for a while. They get kicked out of the gym for filming and Andrew actually has his membership terminated. (Video)
-The alpha wolf of Delray Fitness, Big Richard, threatens to kill Jason and dump his body in the Everglades because he had been talking dirty to his daughter over Facebook the night before. Jason shrinks away and claims that he had no idea who the girl was. The next day, Jason arrives at the gym one hour late, conveniently after Big Richard has left, denies that he's avoiding Big Richard and keeps showing up to the gym late, claiming that his alarm clock didn't go off. Eventually, Jason and Big Richard meet again and the two make up. Big Richard even offers to help Jason find a girl on Plenty Of Fish who'll suck his dick. (Video)
PJ Braun Era (November 2012 - November 2013)
The dawn of the PJ Braun era, The infamous leg workout video at Busy Body Fitness
gets sponsored by a supplement company called Iron Mag Labs via PJ Braun
and Aaron Singerman. The two had been longtime fans of Jason since 2009, and PJ had recently taken Jason through a leg workout video which left Jason collapsed on the ground grabbing his tallywacker, and on the verge of vomiting. PJ and Aaron give him free supplements (including pro hormones)
and offer him $1,000 if he wins a local bodybuilding show. (Video)
-Soon after Jason realizes his lifelong dream of being sponsored, and $1,000 being up for grabs if he wins a bodybuilding show, he decides that now is the perfect time to take a 2 week vacation from the gym, it's so sickening. This is a foreshadowing of what's to come in the Iron Mag Labs era.
-YouTube fitness celebrity Ian McCarthy makes a video professing that he enjoys Jason's videos, and that people shouldn't put him down because he's probably autistic. This infuriates Jason since he is not autism. He goes on an extended rant where he threatens to strangle Ian, calls him skinny and says that he's a rich kid whose dad owns BP, the multi billion dollar oil company. In reality, his dad only works as an engineer or something for BP, how Jason equated that with owning the entire company is beyond me. (Video)
-Jason posts on his Facebook that he needs an emergency liver transplant. A few moments later he famously posts: "Feel cold. I love all my fans. Remember me" The next day he claims that someone hacked into his Facebook account. Big Richard suggests that it must have been the Chinese military. (Video)
reunites with his old crew to film another My Story video, part 7 (not to be confused with the original My Story Part 7: Macho Man, which was deleted). Its release
generates a huge amount of controversy, because Jason does outrageous
stunts in it like lighting his head on fire, riding on top of an SUV, and the producers are clearly making fun of him. Much to the displeasure of PJ Braun, it also includes a scene of Jason devouring an entire chicken in less than five minutes as two girls in the restaurant stare in disgust. (Video)
-PJ Braun orders Jason never to hang around with the Jonas crew again,
threatening to cut off his sponsorship if he does not comply. Jason tells his old producers to get lost and they have
an ugly split, and they delete his original YouTube channel in revenge. Only a few of the My Story videos are able to be salvaged on other channels after this.
goes over to PJ's house to be lectured on his involvement with the Jonas crew, and for a posing tutorial, resulting in the now legendary Jason posing at PJ's house video, which becomes one of the most viewed Jason Genova video of all time. Jason receives the red posing trunks from PJ and cherishes them a little too much from that point on. The red posing trunks will make several guest appearances in later episodes. (Video)
-Jason, as a "sponsored athlete" of Blackstone Labs (PJ and Aaron's new company), gets bags of pro hormones, pre workouts etc., PJ buys hundreds of dollars worth of groceries for him so he will
have no excuses for not eating correctly to make gains while cutting. Things are looking promising for Genova to finally get jacked, what can possibly go wrong? (Video)
writes up an idiot proof diet plan, this proves impossible for
Jason to follow and he admits to cheating on his diet. PJ
and Aaron hit upon the genius idea of making a Jason proof diet: it
consists of as much eggs, beef, mustard and water as Jason wants, and
only those things. This results in the infamous microwaved slab of frozen
beef and microwaved egg videos, making it apparent that Jason has never
cooked anything in his life, by extension meaning his diet is entirely
fast food/microwave meals. Who knows what happened to all the fresh
food PJ bought Jason, he obviously didn't know how to cook it. (Video)
Mag Labs drops Jason's sponsorship due to his lack of progress, but PJ
and Aaron continue to sponsor him through their own supplement company,
Blackstone Labs. The end of the video is one of the most emotional moments of the saga when Genova vows to keep fighting on while holding back tears as the Rocky theme plays softly in the background. (Video)
-A mysterious figure named Chad emerges. The first evidence of his existence is when "Jason" starts to write descriptions for his videos, and replies to comments on his videos in a surprisingly literate manner. Chad is a
marketing student who fancies himself as Jason's new manager and
promises him lots of subscribers if he'll give him control of
all his online accounts. He offers to give Jason a new HD camera so he
can film his own videos when Andrew isn't around. Andrew warns Jason not
to give his info out to strangers. Jason ignores him, Chad takes
control and starts changing video titles/keywords/various other things.
Andrew is not happy that Jason ignored his warnings and put the YouTube channel in danger by freely giving out the password. The last straw is when Jason starts making up stupid lies, like Andrew demanding to be paid for filming a video, so Andrew quits as Jason's producer.
-Andrew announces plans to start up his own YouTube show, tentatively titled "The Big Richard Show" after being encouraged by fans on The Misc to not stop filming after breaking up with Jason. He decides on the title "Delray Misfits" and episode 1 debuts, focusing on members of Delray Fitness other than Jason. (Video)
"Womens only worth in this world is their looks doesn't matter if a girl is a lawyer, if she's fat she's still scum." --Jason Genova
obsession with subscribers and increasingly erratic behavior causes a
huge backlash from his fans. Blackstone Labs drops Jason's sponsorship
after Jason (overwhelmed with hatred and trolls for his actions toward Andrew) threatens suicide on Facebook. (Video)
continues to pester PJ, demanding money, texting him twenty times a
day ... eventually PJ and Aaron hand Jason $500 as "severance" and cut all
contact. Coathless and without a producer, Jason has officially hit rock bottom, and makes a series of webcam videos bemoaning how mean the world is and how hard life is and how much pressure he is under.
and Andrew reconcile, although Andrew still does not take the reins as
his producer again, refusing to be drawn into Jason's sociopathic and
using ways. He continues to film Delray Misfits episodes for his own channel with Jason now appearing, and also helps film Jason for his channel, but doesn't edit and upload the videos for him anymore. Delray Fitness comes under new ownership and is renamed World Gym. The new owners briefly try to ban filming in the gym, endangering The Ment, but Andrew negotiates an understanding between them. Jason Genova megathreads go into full swing on The Misc, explode with comments, fan made lulz and Genova Quotes. Andrew also becomes active in the threads and answers questions about
The Dark Lord. The Jason Genova saga is on its way to becoming a global phenomenon.
Adam Era (November 2013 - May 2014)
spins his wheels for a brief period before Adam, the boot camp trainer who PJ hooked
Jason up with a few months ago for some extra cardio steps up to the plate. Forum users and YouTube viewers initially
loathe Adam and mock his CrossFit methods, his shirtlessness, bald head, and cocky demeanour.
-Adam is spending more and more time with the Sith Lord, but without much
progress, Adam gets visibly frustrated. Adam is training with Jason one
on one every day now, this is the most hands on dedicated coathing that Jason has received in his life, but he still makes torturously slow progress.
-Adam gets the idea to make a funny video where he surprise visits Jason at his condo and raids his fridge and cupboards for junk food. What ensues is a rather depressing video which gives previously unknown insight into Jason's home life. His condo is bought and paid for by his grandma, and he has no idea how to use the dishwasher or washing machine. He has bags and bags of supplements and pro hormones which he got for free by showing up to supplement stores and refusing to leave until he got some free samples. He also has a sizable cache of unopened Blackstone Labs supplements left over from the PJ Braun Era, which may confirm PJ's suspicions that Jason never actually used the supplements that he was given; Jason's mom forbids him from using them anymore because they clash with his medication for his mental disabilities, and he had to go to the hospital twice for high blood pressure. At one point Jason asks his mom, "People think I'm retarded, I'm not retarded, I'm ADD OCD and dyslexic, right mom?" she looks at the floor, says, "Yes" then leaves the room. (Video)
-Adam arranges for Jason to work out with Ronnie Coleman and Vitaly, a famous YouTube prankster. The owner of the gym is a Miscer (the gym is literally called BBC - Boynton Barbell Center) and gets on the bad side of Witnesses when he almost forbids Jason from attending because he hates him. The gym is also quite shit, looks like a dentist's office with plain white walls and doesn't even have any goddamn mirrors (the owner's reasoning is something along the lines of, "Hurr, this is a hardcore powerlifting gym, only fags need to look at themselves in the mirror, durr"). brb, drinking fountain right beside the shitter. Adam threatens to not do the workout with Ronnie at all in the gym if the owner doesn't let Jason come, so he eventually caves. During the video, Jason offends Adam by trying to impress Ronnie by telling him, "PJ Braun is my coach" right in front of Adam. (Video)
-Adam, who used to be a cop, brings back his old detective skills and goes into stalking mode
because he doesn't understand why Jason hasn't shown much progress. He finds
out that Jason has been getting coffee with cream and XXL Milky Way bars because he hilariously keeps incriminating evidence on his person in the form of stuffing his wallet full of receipts.
Adam gets really mad and personally chews out Jason on camera, J-Cream says he's
sorry and he won't do it anymore. (Video)
-Adam finds out Jason had some
pizza slices. J-Crust denies it at first but admits it later. Rather than feel remorseful about cheating on his diet, he instead gets mad at
his mom for ratting him out. Adam makes Jason do more and more
burpees every day, and stalks him at work to see what he brought for lunch.
He makes Jason message him a picture of every meal. Jason gets out of doing burpees for a while because he is complaining about his hip.
hours as a bagboy at Publix are revealed, he works under twenty hours a
week. Adam talks to the manager in a bid to get Jason more
hours or maybe even a promotion to stockboy or cashier. Jason claims to be good at math and when Adam tests him on it, he surprisingly knows basic arithmetic. Jason is possibly at his
leanest phase ever. Body fat is
somewhere around 14-15% after weeks of hard work.
-Adam leaves on a holiday to Fiji for a week. He returns and made the unwise decision to trust Jason to pick him up
from the airport. Jason switches his phone off and pretends to have
forgotten, he then changes his story to having to work.
Jason is noticeably fatter. His body fat comes in at 16%. He maintains that
he has not cheated on his diet, even when confronted with the fact that he has gotten fatter in a week.
-Trolls tell Adam that Genova went to Burger King. When Adam confronts Jason with these accusations, he has an epic temper tantrum and denies everything. He manages to clear his name when Adam takes him to the drive through window of Burger King and asks the employee there if she recognizes this man. She says that Jason used to be a regular there, but she hasn't seen him in a long time. The Iron Serial Killer gives Adam a stone cold stare and utters, "I told you bro." (Video)
-Adam and Bri take Jason out for his birthday to dinner and bowling. Jason hoverhands Bri in every photograph.
-Pudding Head gets trolled by somebody pretending to be Craig Titus, one of Jason's bodybuilding idols who is currently in prison for murder. Jason announces that he's going to do a video with Craig Titus, who will take him through a hardcore "prison rape dungeon workout." (Video)
-Jason comes over to Adam's house late at night unannounced. Adam says that Bri is in a bad mood because she entered a CrossFit competition and didn't do very well. Bri starts PMSing/roid raging at Adam. The Iron Serial Killer gives her an ice cold stare and utters, "Calm down Bri." (Video)
-Genova trains with a fan, Misc user Mingrey. Afterwards,
his girlfriend asks Jason to show her his "lightsaber" (his dick) in a parking lot. Jason complies, saying, "It's pretty big for a bodybuilder." Mingrey insists that he was only trying to create some ments, but lots of
backlash ensues from Witnesses who say that he crossed the line. Jason doesn't seem to care about his dignity and is only concerned with the video blowing up in views. It's eventually deleted by YouTube censors. The next day, Genova claims in a phone call with a Witness that he banged the guy's girlfriend afterwards. (Video) (phone call)
-Genova tests his bodyfat and it comes in at 15.7%, increasing by about 1% from a week earlier. He
threatens to starve himself like a teenage girl. Adam states that he is fed up and demands Jason come to boot camp every day and puts him back on burpees and running, reasoning that if he
can't force Jason to eat healthy then he will damn well run off all the carbs he is consuming. Jason's barely moving body fat levels indicate that it's a lot of carbs.
makes a video, shopping with his mother. His mother complains about being on a budget, Jason whines incessantly, "I want the big one, mom. NAHHHT that one, the big one!"
and otherwise is his complaining needy self. His mom, obviously torn
between Jason wanting to keep up the pretense of eating healthy
and her assertion that she is a nutritionist, struggles with Jason
on what to buy. The result is hilarity as they argue over pre-cut
salads (which she argues that Jason never eats) sugary cereal, which is
obviously what Jason eats a lot of, is substituted for a slightly less
sugary version. Jason takes the video down after the backlash, but it's quickly re-uploaded by someone else. (Video)
-Adam gives Genova an ultimatum that unless he gets down to 13% he will not be allowed to work out with his hero Richard Gaspari, who once won the Arnold Classic and is now a supplement company kingpin. He has until the 22nd
of March. Genova cuts out water, starts taking diuretics
and using the sauna on a daily basis in a last ditch effort to lose weight. Body fat
test shows a result of 13.8% and he receives the name J-Sith.
admits that he has been cheating on his diet with granola bars.
Granolaing. Causing more consternation and exasperation on Adam's part,
as Jason seems to be trying his hardest to sabotage himself despite Adam putting in massive amounts of time with Jason.
-Genova tests his body fat and it puts him back at 14.5%. Genova
becomes J-Crust again. Will not admit that he has cheated on his diet. Ironically, Jason's practice of dehydrating himself in order to lose weight may be backfiring on him since it is believed that dehydrating one's self will actually cause the electronic body fat tester to read it as higher than usual. Adam stresses that if he is not 13% he will not be participating in the Gaspari video. Genova has possibly developed an eating disorder, starving himself and then gorging on junk.
-Jason's old producer Jonas re-emerges; now that PJ Braun has cut ties with Jason he is no longer under any obligation to stay away from Jonas. The two make a video together and say that they are now friends again. They blame all the controversies with My Story Part 7 and Jason's old channel being deleted on Joe Skee, who has now been kicked out of the crew. The scapegoating of Joe Skee sounds suspicious, but Adam reluctantly allows him to hang around with Jason but says that he'll be keeping his eye on him (sickening father figure Adam who's like 2 years older than Jason). Genova has been in the studio with Jonas recording "The Spaniard Shuffle", a poverty techno beat that Jason and Jonas are adamant will make them millions. (Video)
-The Anti Ment Bri almost backs over Jason with her truck while he's doing squats in an attempt to assassinate The Ment. Genova's Witnesses discover on the Misc thread that Jason receives a monthly shot of a powerful anti psychosis drug called haloperidol. There have been studies linking the medication to permanent brain damage, which may explain why Jason seems to be less lucid than he was years ago. Adam states that Jason just got his shot, and he's extremely "out of it" for a few days. This leads to the infamous incident where Adam asks Jason to autograph a shaker cup being sent to a fan, and Jason writes, "Janoy Cresva" on it. (Video)
-Janoy meets Richard Gaspari at the same BBC gym where they met Former Ronnie. Jason brings his mother along. Mother
displays erratic behaviour, intimating it would not be a bad thing if
Jason hanged himself. Asks Adam to see how hard her muscles are. She appears to hit on Richard Gaspari, later calling him a "Nice looking little Italian boy."
She is also wearing bizarre attire and in short comes across as a female
alcoholic version of Jason. Jason gets shown how to do exercises for shoulders and delts correctly, promptly reverts to usual form. (Video)
-BBC gym owner's younger brother Brendan is like an even more douchey version of Bostin Loyd (if that's even possible); he has the same gay sounding lisp, dim-wittedness and douche face. He freaks out over a small drop of water that Jason spilled on the floor and makes him clean it up. So much for it being a hardcore powerlifting gym. This draws the ire of Witnesses. It's also discovered that he lied about being co-owner of the gym and in reality his brother just lets him hang around there to keep his idiot little brother out of trouble. He gets relentlessly trolled by Witnesses and eventually has to
make an apology video with Jason where Brendan gets down on all fours and cleans up some water himself. (Video)
-Genova manages to release a video with crumbs on his mouth and cream smeared on his face (you
can't make this up). Insists it was a protein shake. His story and the
evidence say otherwise. Maintains it was a protein shake even in
the face of relentless interrogation by Adam. Twitches, hands clawening,
high voice, wild eyes prove that Jason is lying. Genova is back to J-Cream. (Video)
-Andrew takes Genova to the gun range, where he shoots a picture of the hated body fat tester and of Gideon. At one point he carelessly points a loaded gun at Andrew almost killing him. (Video)
-Adam helps Genova open his first bank account at age 29. All his money went to
his mother, who presumably withheld it and spent it on booze judging by
her actions. She eventually finds out about Jason's bank account and confiscates all his money.
-Genova weighs in at a lean 181 pounds and visible abs start to show for the first time in his life. Adam leaves for another vacation, a cruise. During the whole Adam Era, Jason tends to be depressed and lethargic from all the dieting, but while Adam is away he is unusually jolly and energetic, suggesting that he is pigging out to his heart's content.
-Genova picks up Adam and Bri from the airport. During the drive home, Genova claims to have sold the rights to one of his videos to Nickelodeon (????????). Jason's
body fat is up again and it's obvious that he hasn't trained at all while Adam was
away, and rather than admit that he cheated on his diet, Jason claims that it was from
"shooting testosterone." How taking
steroids would result in fat gain is beyond me. Miraculously, Adam buys the story, and he forces Jason to go on camera and admit that he took steroids. This possibly makes Jason Genova the first ever reverse fake natty, who pretends to be on steroids but actually isn't. (Video)
-A big shitstorm arises at the Jason Genova megathread on The Misc: a moderator named pUniCepts gets mad about all the Genova threads, doesn't understand the Jason Genova saga, locks the threads and calls out Genova's Witnesses for "making fun of a retard." his attempt to white knight Genova hilariously backfires when The Spaniard himself makes a video calling the "narrator" "Poonycheeps" a faggot. In a rage, Poonycheeps bans all Genova talk on the board. This decision is soon reversed by higher ups after a significant backlash, and the threads are re-opened. Poonycheeps is extremely butthurt and plots his revenge. (Video)
-Andrew and Genova head to the mall, in an attempt to recreate some of the magic from a legendary mall video that they had done years prior, this time with a toy lightsaber in Jason's belt. The video fails to live up to expectations, but after a lady tries to get Jason to sign up to a college, Jason reveals that he never graduated high school and failed to get his GED when he tried. Strangely enough though, a picture of Jason graduating high school is later discovered on his Instagram, so he apparently lied about not having his diploma in order to have an excuse not to attend college. We can now add "high school dropout" to his list of lies, in addition to "steroid injector" and "gay porn star". (Video)
-Genova skips morning boot camp. Claims laryngitis. 6 hours later he is over it. Really can't make this stuff up. Adam is getting frustrated because Genova is making no progress. He weighs in at 187 pounds. He got fat again.
-Genova starts boxing lessons with JT. He quickly dumps Apollo Cream after he starts begging for money and posting emotional Facebook
statuses. He also seems rather disturbed by Jason claiming he did "Pay for gay" in the past. JT says, "I can't be having that."
-Adam and Tucker go to pick up Genova to go out to
the nightclub Renegades. When Adam arrives at Genova's place and calls for him, he doesn't respond. Adam lets himself in, briefly
catches Jason standing around in his house completely naked. (Video)
-Ian McCarthy, who is no longer under Genova's wrath, visits Delray Beach and trains with Jason. He and his girlfriend stay in Genova's condo for a few days and make a few sickening videos. Jason admits to taking pre-workouts before and after workouts, at night, basically drinking them all the time, even eating the powder straight. This helps explain why Jason can be regularly seen posting Star Wars videos on his Facebook until 4:30 AM, and then shows up to the gym at 5:30 AM for a video. We don't care about sleep, we're freaks! (Video)
-Adam quits, citing his wife's displeasure with him spending all his time with Jason, a new business venture, and Jason's woeful motivation levels (Jason protests and insists that he's "pushing himself to the ultimate limit of physics"). This marks the official end of the Adam Era. He has so far been the most successful out of all of Jason's coaths, getting the
Sith Lord down to about 180 pounds and 13/14% body fat in his prime. (Video) |(Gif of him in his best ever shape)
Hindenburg Era (May 2014 - October 2014)
-Ian McCarthy is now Genova's new coath. Sickened by his visit and basking in The Ment, Ian actually wants to coath Genova and believes he can succeed
where no one else has and get Genova in shape. "Ian MacThey" says that he will live with Jason for 3 months during the summer.
getting fatter by the day without Adam breathing down his neck. According to
his Instagram and Facebook he claims to be back on steroids or "skillets" but whether The Iron Reverse Fake Natty is telling the truth or not is anyone's guess. "I've gained ten pounds of solid muscle in a week bro."
-Misc narrator Poonycheeps locks the Genova thread in a surprise revenge attack and starts
his own thread about JG. When people refuse to post in his thread he
deletes seven 250+ post threads worth of Genova content and bans the
creation of any more. He tries to bait Genova's Witnesses into flaming him so he has an excuse to ban them, then lies about receiving harassing e-mails and phone
calls from Witnesses and says that he conveniently deleted all
the evidence because he was so traumatized. Witnesses are forced to temporarily flee to FitMisc, which is notorious for being a cesspool made up
entirely of people who have been banned from The Misc (which is already bad enough). Poonycheeps is eventually defeated yet again and the thread is opened back up.
-Ian reneges on his plan to live with and train The Iron Serial
Killer, presumably after seeing the deterioration of Janoy without the
guiding hand of Adam to keep him somewhat in shape, and reasoning (rightly), that Janoy truly is a lost cause.
-Jason announces that he's taking a break from YouTube for a week because
he's under a lot of stress (who can blame him with those grueling 20 hour work weeks). No one believes that The Iron Attention Whore can do it. One day later, he makes a video letting
everyone know that his break from making videos is going really well.
Seriously can't even make this shit up. It quickly becomes apparent to fans
that when Jason said that he's taking a week long break from videos,
what he actually meant was that he's taking a week long break from lifting. (Video)
after soliciting up to $200 online from shoutout donations,
spends $158.99 on a necklace for some bipolar whore from New York.
Mike B aka "TheRage191" hears about this and succeeds in getting
said necklace from said whore, but not before Jason makes a video
calling TheRage a hater and declaring his undying love for "Erica." Jason avoids all mentions of this when quizzed on camera by
Andrew, fidgeting and avoiding eye contact. (Video)
-Jason confirmed not
to be training, he has had approximately four workout sessions in a month and a
half since Adam dropped him. The muscle loss and fat gain is evident,
though Jason maintains all the fat is muscle. Jason refuses to train unless someone is filming him and looks like complete shit. He
balloons back up to 21% body fat, content deteriorates to unwatchable
levels, future looks bleak for a coathless Janoy in zombie mode. Jason
actually runs away from the camera for the first time in his life after the 21% body fat diagnosis.
old producer Jonas gets a lot of accusations that he wants to use Jason's fame to take all the profits from the track "The Spaniard Shuffle". To prove that he's not exploiting Jason, he sets up a fake record deal/contract signing where he has Jason sign a number of documents in the presence of a
"lawyer" named Scott Miller who is unshaven, clearly high, and is struggling to read a script written on an off camera cue card. It looks suspiciously like Jonas just found a homeless guy and dressed him up in a suit. The whole farce is unintentionally hilarious and is the
first watchable thing that Jason has put out since being dropped by Adam. (Video)
affirms to Andrew that he is learning to be an air conditioning technician, going
to wrestling school, going to compete in a "powerlifting show", getting a supplement deal with Liquid Gold Nutrition (pissening) and flying to Ohio to sign the contract. How much, if any, of this
is ever going to happen is questionable.
stepsisters begin to emerge in the YouTube comments section of Jason's videos, and later join the Jason Genova thread on The Misc. They reveal some interesting info: Jason's real
father Gary P Genova is still alive and living in California, Jason's
mother is an insane alcoholic (not really a surprise to
anyone who has followed the saga) who neglects Jason. Jason's family is
revealed to be very wealthy, Rosov is his mother's maiden name. His mom
is living off a trust fund, thus making Jason's menial bagboy job at
Publix even more pointless. Pictures of Jason's uncle surface, family
resemblance is uncanny. He was a professional chef in Beverly Hills, which in light of the family
wealth coming from restaurants vs Jason's patent inability
to create a basic meal is hilarious. Jason is not a Frantzen and the Frantzen name actually has nothing to
do with Jason besides his mother marrying a Frantzen and then remarrying
and divorcing another man subsequently. The stepsisters resent them using the Frantzen name as the Rosov/Genova clan are obviously all potato.
-An obscure cooking video is discovered on YouTube made by Jason's uncle, a professional chef. Witnesses promptly swamp the comments section and ask him if he'll do some microwave ground beef and scambald eggs next.
-Jonas begins hyping up a new installment in the My Story franchise, part 8. After pushed back release dates and nearly a month of promotion from Dark Lord Pissious and the Rat Prick Jonas, it's finally released to universal derision. It's like a half assed copy of My Story Part 7 that mostly features The Pillsbury Doughboy waddling around the streets of Delray Beach and
posing awkwardly as the Rat King asks random strangers if they know who
Janoy Cresva is. The only slightly redeeming feature is the brief Attorney Scott Miller cameos and a phone call where Jason finds out that his mom stole all the money in his bank account. (Video)
Pollard appears on the scene. Jason has the sense to only bring it up
off camera as Pollard slowly gains his trust and convinces Jason that his yet to
be launched supplement company "Pollard Nutrition" wants him as a figurehead for products such as "Liquid Gold". Pollard releases
numerous videos talking about his supplement company. Witnesses are not sure what to make of it, 99% of their
brains acknowledge that it's probably a troll, yet Pollard's masterful delivery creates
that 1% of doubt and intrigue. After numerous contract
wangles, where Jason hasn't yet signed Pollard's contract, cracks begin to
show and Jason (with help from someone) becomes aware that all is not as it seems with Pollard Nutrition. Pollard releases desperate videos asking why Jason hasn't signed yet as his troll job falls apart.
essentially admits that it was all a troll job with a ridiculous video culminating in a
CGI bullet smashing the lens. No word from Jason on what he thought of the whole Pollard Nutrition farce. (Video)
-The Monkey Prick meme comes to
fruition after Facebook poster Alex Johnson leaves a picture comment of
what looks like a half man/half monkey with a striking similarity to Jason on all of Jason's Facebook
statuses and unwatchable poverty Star Wars video links. Alex captions the photo comment with "Monkey Prick" and it just starts to
spread like wildfire. Jason is asked by Andrew on camera what he
thinks about the nickname "Monkey Prick" and Jason is clearly
aggravated by it, which eggs on even more people to call him Monkey Prick.
-Joe Skee, who supposedly was just released from Rikers Island prison for selling meth to young children rejoins the Jonas crew and interviews
Jason and some creature named Deeana who can only be described as, "The
offspring of two fat people." Joe Skee continues to question whether
Jason has shown the foul beast his lightsaber and whether or not he wants to engage in intercourse, to which Jason successfully avoids giving a true answer. (Video)
-Deeana is staying with Genova and Janoy acts coy, but it is plain to
see that Jason has hooked up with a female version of himself with no more
brain cells, but a lot more cunning. As a degenerate moocher
herself, Jason's mother recognizes Deeana for what she is and kicks her out,
banning her from staying at Jason's condo. Jason continues to sneak her
in at night. We never learn if he got a bang bro, or if the two of
them just pigged out while watching Star Wars a million times in a row. She eventually disappears.
-Jason comes dangerously close to going full retard, releasing a bizarre
video where he shows up to the gym wearing a woman's tank top
and his shorts hiked up to his stomach. He giggles incessantly about his
body odour and constantly spouts nonsensical lines like, "Sticky
bandits, like Elmer's glue, huehuehuehue!" Andrew remarks, "Oh my god,
what's wrong with you today? You're like drooling and shit!" The
haloperidol may have finally taken its toll on Janoy Cresva's brain. (Video)
-Jason announces that he is now on a mission to bulk to 260 pounds. Heart attackening. The Hindenburg Era is officially about to go into full swing.
-Balloon Prick goes to the "boofay" at Golden Corral with Andrew and attempts to put the place out of business. He proceeds to call himself a garbage disposal
unit after eating all of the slop. Andrew calls him the human
dishwasher. Janoy marks his territory on the pizza by coughing on it.
Truly sickening. Jason eats five or six helpings of slop (as he calls it
continuously in front of everyone -- chefs, waitresses, fellow diners)
in his quest to rival The Hindenburg as the biggest balloon. He eats chocolate covered strawberries, stem and all, while doing a bizarre wheezing laugh that sounds like a literal pig. All of Coath Adam's hard work has officially swirled down the toilet. Janoy consumes approximately 300,000,000,000,000 calories total for his dirty bulk. He also lets random patrons at the boofay know that he's a YouTube bodybuilder celebrity with 90 million views. (Video)
-Balloon Prick's bodyweight soars to 230 pounds. Leanest he's ever been, bro. The Piss Lord tells us that he will dirty bulk until
January. He predicts that his weight by then will be 300 pounds ripped (he uses the weights of IFBB pro Mr. Olympia bodybuilders as a reference). Janoy Giovanni
will then "cut" before his upcoming show. Estimated year of bodybuilding show: 3523.
-Someone enters Janoy into an online "Physique Of The Week" contest, and despite having the worst
physique by far, he wins the contest by a thousand votes, much to the
annoyance of the people who actually dieted and worked hard on their physiques. Screenshot of the voting results here. Jason shows up to the gym
in a joyous mood, delighted to be on the receiving
end of "politics" for once after being screwed over in all of his previous bodybuilding shows just like Mike Mentzer in 1980 Mr. Olympia. He claims that Physique Of The Week is giving him a supplement sponsorship,
a weekly cash amount, $100 of free supplements and an interview. He proceeds to brag
about this and his upcoming t-shirt/jumper line to a random woman on
the cable machine.
-However, Physique Of The Week's owner Rick Hall
decides not to give the contest win to Jason and instead gives it to
second place, despite the clear rules that wins are decided by votes alone, sparking a massive outcry from Jason's sizeable fanbase. The Sith Lord issues Order 66 against POTW and Rick Hall. POTW quickly disables the ability to make comments on their Facebook
page and deletes any post mentioning the Piss Lord's win. Pisstroopers
begin to message the site's sponsors with their opinions on this outrage. Rick Hall begins a massive cover up.
-Facebook deletes Physique Of The Week's page after pisstroopers report it for being a scam. POTW locks their
twitter. Not only do Optimum Nutrition
and Monster Supplements confirm that their sponsorship is dropped, but we find out that they had actually stopped sponsoring the contest long ago and that it's illegal for their logos to be used on the POTW site anymore. It's also discovered that Rick Hall is a scumbag whose videos are full of fake likes/comments that he bought, and he's also a roided up fake natty who used to private message people on message boards offering to sell them roids. Rick Hall pisses
himself and in a last ditch effort to save face he puts out a press release claiming that the Shitlord bought Facebook votes to win the contest. This claim is totally laughable (especially in light of Jason's notorius Jewishness) and Rick Hall continues to be relentlessly trolled. A gallery of screengrabs related to the scandal.
releases a video claiming that Rick Hall contacted him personally and apologized, offering him the interview and prize. It is legitimately the
most heartfelt video that Jason has ever put out, acknowledging Witnesses
as his "pals" and "buddies" and being delighted that all of his "hard work" has
finally been recognized. The interview never ends up happening, but Physique Of The Week's contest and website is nevertheless completely destroyed and defunct from that point on. (Video)
-Poonycheeps sees the shitstorm resulting from the Physique Of The Week scandal as an opportunity to accuse Genova's Witnesses of organizing a raid, which is against the rules of The Misc, despite the fact that they were righting a legitimate injustice. The last straw may have been a prominent Witness named Alfha printing out a picture of Jason's stepsister Shelley Frantzen and jizzing all over it. Genova's Witnesses are permanently banned from The Misc and exiled to FitMisc for good.
-We learn from Andrew on the newest Delray
Misfits episode that the Hindenburg sent a picture to someone showing
that he likes his smelly angus peppered by going knuckle deep. This spawns his latest nickname KD or Knuckle Deep, and a new Genovaverse term, "Knuckle deepening." (Video)
-Jason brings the Hindenburg Era to a premature end, his dirty bulk sputtering out as he is unable to break the 230 pound plateau, because after that point he actually has to work to gain weight. The entertainment value of his videos has plummeted to dire levels. Witnesses worry that The Ment may finally be dead, but they will be flabbergasted over what comes next ...
I'm Not Hindenburg Anymore Bro Era (October 2014 - September 2015)
-Jason resolves to end the Hindenburg phase, and after a chance encounter in the gym he
gets a new coath, Debbie D'Andrea (go to debradandrea.com if you dare), a
dominatrix/bodybuilder/powerlifter/porn star who is built like The Rock and
sounds like she smokes 40 a day. She is Big Richard in
female form. She teaches Jason correct form, actually following a proper
routine and doing abs. Jason is actually willing to listen to her because she's comically bigger than him and outlifts him. (Video)
doing a workout video with new coath Debbie, Janoy unleashes the Dungeon Slayer
in him on his mom (who got a job at World Gym as a personal trainer somehow). She
confronts the almost 30 year old Piss Lord about him rudely leaving Debbie out to dry for five minutes while he went to fetch his camera, then the Sith Lord grabs his mom and yells, "STOP IT,
STOP IT!" Parental abusening, scambaldening, STOP IT STOP ITening. His mom
merely looks her lizard eyes at the camera as if his behaviour is completely expected, Norma Batesening. (Video)
reunites with former coath Adam for one video, who is less than amused at
Janoy's rapid Hindenburgening weight gain and how all of his hard work
went down the shitter. Adam inspects his wallet for old times' sake and finds it full of receipts from various boofays Janoy has engorged in. (Video)
-Jason gets some good workouts in with Coath Debbie. Jason is scared to disobey her, and he greatly respects her opinions on bodybuilding. They both agree that Arnold's physique was "feminine" compared to Dorian Yates. Jason repays Debbie for her time and services by urging his fans to visit her porn site at the end of videos. Things are looking very promising for this mutually beneficial arrangement, but unfortunately the Coath
Debbie era abruptly ends. Deb was tired of all of the unwanted
attention and trolling and she asks Andrew to delete all of the
videos that she was in. Coath Killer Janoy strikes again, everything he touches turns to piss.
Terwilliger, an amateur bodybuilder and longtime Genova's Witness moves to Florida to take up a job
with Blackstone Labs and agrees to train Janoy on the side. Janoy, despite coming from a loaded family, paying no rent and basically
having all his earnings as pocket money to do with as he wishes, is
"broke" constantly, and has the shamelessness and Jewishness to
ask Tim for gas money on countless occasions (this despite Tim being
legit broke and newly married). (Video)
-Tim fills in for Coath Deb
and trains Jason to the best of his ability, but without Adam's level of commitment it soon fizzles out and surprise surprise Tim's job falls
through and he ends up living in his car before moving back in with his parents in Connecticut with his wife, leaving Jason alone. Coath Tim era is over almost before it began. He still contacts Janoy and coaths him over the
phone, sends him a bunch of supplements, but with Jason being a
reprehensible liar with no work ethic this is merely a nicety on
his part, and he is soon dumped. Once again Jason has killed another coath and his coath's
life has turned to piss.
appearances and video output declines, diet is obviously non existent, yet
because in his head he has "stopped bulking" (though he probably only
eats slightly less of his usual fill of shite), he maintains he is
"getting lean bro" in every camera appearance, despite his
physique barely changing and him being fat as fuck. Jason uploads rarely, has
all but forgotten what "Coath Dib" and Coath Tim had shown him. Work
ethic back to zero, shit workouts, hammer curls + bicep curls, endless chest
days with 3 sets of 5 reps bench press before leaving the gym and "intermittent cardio" where he jogs gently
for five minutes and then sits down and repeats for an hour (BPM not
a result of the shit-tier quality of ments Jason is providing, the
trolling steps up to a whole new level from members of the notorious Monkey Prick Facebook group, known as "Monkey Prickers", who specialize in trolling/harassing Jason and other Genovaverse characters (they were the prime suspects in causing Coath Debbie to quit). Jason is enticed to cook dinner for
imaginary girls (Sickening tilapia and oats). They also bait him into driving for an hour to pick up an imaginary girl, which Jason falls for multiple times.
-Pudding Head gives a shoutout to "Anal KD Supplements" and actually
makes a few videos shouting out "Anal KD Supplements" or "KD anal
gel". Here's the transcript from one
video: "Kris ... uh ... Samsamson or Simpson from uh ... Newz ... Australia New
Zealand's getting a shoutout and it's Ane ... KD Anal gel, the best gel on the
market. K ... k... uh ... KD Anal gel is the best uh supplement on the
market. Wiz ... is K-anal Anal gel dot com ... k k k KD uh rectal abdominal
anal gel dot com. A sickening shoutout ... K-anal". (Video)
-Jason's online coath Ian McCarthy arrives in Delray Beach to provide some much needed ments. His visit was much hyped, as plans were underway for a visit to the zoo to have Jason interact with his
biological parents. The visit turns out to be a disappointment, but we do get a fascinating video where they go out to a restaurant with Jason and it's discovered that he has an extraordinary memory: he is able to recall the date and even the exact time when the Titanic hit an iceberg, and then the exact time it sank, among other historical facts that Ian quizzes him on. Rain Manening. (Video)
-Jason laughs for several minutes at
the death of famous fitness guru Greg Plitt (well he DID try to outrun a train)
and manages to get some of the other Delray Misfits to engage in
his scumbaggish behavior, most notably Battletoad/giant rat hybrid Fat Fucking Lenny who goes off
on a rant about visiting gay bars, scat etc. This joking/mocking
of Greg Plitt's bizarre, and honestly, potato mode of death creates a
lot of controversy and hate from Greg Plitt fans, which could be deemed
overly sensitive or hypocritical considering this is standard
Genova behaviour when confronted with death, real life, anything outside
of his fantasy world. Andrew later issues an apology on behalf of
the Iron Icicle (feel cold member me fans) on his YouTube page for his
remarks about Greg Plitt, though we have yet to hear an actual apology from Jason himself. (Video)
-New questions about Janoy's sexual preferences arise with the dawning of
2015. Does our Sith Lord enjoy the dark side of the force a little too
much? Does his constant threat of, "All shove a red lightsaber up your candy ass" have a Freudian subtext? With the banning of Genova talk on bodybuilding.com's Misc forum, and the subsequent scattering of Genova's Witnesses across various message boards spreading the gospel of Genova far and wide, the
Muscular Development forum's resident ex Genovaverse character Ron Harris has been dragged
right back into the middle of the Genova saga. A FitMiscer claims he
remembers reading on MD about Jason licking peanut butter off of Ron's chest when they did their collaboration back in the My Story Era. When questioned, the happily married, devoutly Christian father of two Ron
Harris immediately denies these accusations for obvious reasons. Another FitMiscer says, "I thought it was supposed to be a joke but when I
asked Jason on facebook he said it happened but he doesn't do it
anymore." We are left with so many questions: why did Ron do
it? Why is Ron always butthurt? Is Jason "Mr. No Homo" Genova a homo? We
may never know the answers to these questions, but we do know one thing
for sure: It piss.
-To further add to the no homo/full
homo debate surrounding Janoy, Monkey Prickers have at various points over the past few months exchanged
texts via Facebook with Jason of a homosexual nature, with him asking for posing pictures,
admitting to liking men (it only fun huehuehue) and then telling the Monkey Pricker not to tell anyone. Screenshots emerge of Jason asking for pictures of other guys' dicks. He responds to one dick picture with, "nices ! it big mabye it hurt bit... but i sith lord can take !" In another conversation he says, "gey it better, no stress, just fun". When confronted with these statements, Mr. No Homo explains, "My mind clouded like Anakin!" (Screenshots)
-Andrew promises Jason a surprise at the gym, and his idol/crush PJ Braun walks in. It is the first time that he has acknowledged Jason's existence since the break up over a year ago.
They film a reunion workout video together that once again has Jason gushing
about "PeeJay" and the Iron Parrot returns to repeat every second word out of PJ's mouth. PJ says that he and Aaron Singerman have traveled all across the world, and it doesn't matter what country they're in, be it Australia, Spain or Germany; somebody always comes up to them and asks them, "Where's Jason?" Jason also makes a guest appearance on Aaron Singerman's channel a few months later in a video with one of their sponsored bodybuilders Aaron Clark, who is training to compete in the Arnold Classic. Jason proceeds to give a homo erotic commentary of Aaron Clark's posing routine, uttering things like, "God you look great" after he slips his shirt off for the first time. (Video)
-Janoy Likes the "Gay Bodybuilders" and "Gay Community" pages on his Facebook.
Jason has officially crossed over to the dark side ... huehuehuehuehue (Screenshot)
-Jason announces plans to compete in the Ruby Championships bodybuilding
show with Big Lenny. Fears that he will drop out like usual are
possibly abated by Big Lenny's promise that he will pick up Jason and
throw his ass on stage if he has to. If he ends up going through with
it, it will be the first bodybuilding show that Jason has competed in
since the Abz of Adoniss show three years ago.
-Jason gets a new camera, signalling the end of the infamous Chad Betrayal Cam. Unfortunately, the new camera does not have the feature of self editing videos, and since Jason is too lazy to learn how to edit videos (even though Andrew offered to teach him several times), all of his vids are now 20 minute long single shots with no cuts, we Children Of Men now.
-A creepy skinny bearded hipster shows up in Delray Beach and says he's filming a Jason Genova documentary. He only gets two days worth of footage and then disappears. The jury is out on this documentary ever seeing the light of day. (Video)
-Lee Priest calls Jason "The godfather of retards" in a video, re-igniting the Jason Genova/Lee Priest feud from the early My Story Era. Jason pretends to be mad, but he's clearly relishing in the attention and tries to milk the feud for all it's worth. He mocks Lee for never having won a "Mr. Arnold Classic" competition. The 5' 7" Jason Genova also enjoys being able to lord his height over someone else for once, calling Lee a "manlet" and a "dorf." (Video)
-The leftover Hindenburg fat proves difficult to shed, so Jason invents the "Ethiopian Crackhead Diet" to lean down for his show, which consists of only protein shakes, almonds and Quest Bars. He eventually gets a new "supplement coath" named Wesley who looks like a total goober and could honestly pass for Jason's brother, but he actually won a national teen bodybuilding show ten years ago. Andrew and Brad agree to pay Jason $100 each if he actually gets his body fat below 10% for the show. If he fails, he promises to take them out to a fancy steakhouse that costs $100 for a steak. We can be certain that Andrew and Brad don't need to worry about Jason getting below 10% body fat, and it is equally certain that Jason won't come through on his promise to take them out to the steakhouse.
-The Iron Chef aka "Chef Crackhead" releases another video showing off his cooking skills, so you know it's gonna be good. After struggling to turn on the stove, he finally drops a frozen fish straight from the freezer into the pan. After it's done, he puts it on a dirty plate that had been sitting in the sink for God knows how long, after wiping it with a filthy sponge. He notices that the sink is clogged with mold, and attempts to unclog it by reaching his hand into the drain and pulling out all the disgusting muck. He then proceeds to eat his meal without even bothering to wash his hand. Afterward, to show everyone what a sophisticated gentleman he is, he pours himself some Pinot Grigio wine and drinks it out of a dirty ass blender cup with a bunch of shit floating around in it. (Video)
-The 30 year old Jason Genova announces that he has officially fallen to the dark side and demands to be referred to as "Lord Vader" from now on, not Jason Genova. One Witness says in the comments section: "Gotcha. Monkey Prick it is."(Video)
-Darth Tater is recorded having a drink with a fan. The fan asks Jason who his all time favourite coath was, and he answers PJ Braun. He says that he didn't like Adam, the coath who got him into better shape than he had ever been in his whole life. Well that's unfortunate, this shocking display of ingratitude has probably burned the bridge for a potential reunion with Coath Adam. On the bright side, PJ must be flattered that Jason thinks so highly of him. Maybe he'll think about working with Jason agai-- "I don't like his wife though. His wife doesn't like me. She's a cunt." Oh dear. (Video)
-Miraculously, a couple weeks before the Ruby Championships, Genova actually manages to diet down to 180 lbs by following a salmon and green beans diet suggested by Big Jay Masters. His weight is now roughly the same as it was during his Adam Era peak, but his physique does not look exactly the same. His abs aren't as lean as they were back then, but he does look bigger. The bet that Andrew, Brad, and Jason made regarding Jason's body fat ends up being called off after the calipers test him at 8% body fat, which is obviously inaccurate. The consensus is that his true body fat is somewhere between 12% - 14%, but the only way to know for sure would be to pay for an expensive underwater body fat test. It's actually rather surprising that Jason accepts the inaccuracy of the calipers without a fight, rather than throwing a tantrum about rightfully winning the $200 for being below 10%. (Video)
-Marc Lobliner of Tiger Fitness gets pestered by Genova's Witnesses, telling him to collab with The Sith Lord. He goes on a Poonycheeps-like rant rebuking all of Jason's fans for "picking on a disabled man" and says that he has better things to do than spend time collaborating with Jason. Lord Vader issues Order 66 against "Marc Lowrider." All of his videos are promptly swamped with troll comments by Witnesses, and the like to dislike ratio of his videos plummets to 1:10. This couldn't come at a worse time for Marc, because the Mr. Olympia is going on, and he's in the process of posting videos plugging his supplements. Terrified of the power of the dark side, Marc surrenders and apologizes to Jason and his fans, and says that he is willing to collab with Jason in the future. He also sends him a package of free supplements. Lord Vader calls for additional Order 66s against other targets: Rich Piana and Vince G. Rich Piano's channel proves difficult for the Sith army to penetrate, since it is already completely infested with trolls, and invading it is like pissing into an ocean of piss. (Video)
-Hype for the impending Ruby Championships reaches a fever pitch. Andrew says that many of the Misfits will be at the show, as well as PJ Braun, Adam Harper, and more. He says that he will film as much of the show as he can, and promises that it will be the greatest bodybuilding related video of all time. In the days leading into the contest, even Lord Vader's crappy late night webcam videos where he poses and redundantly repeats himself for 3 minutes get a lot of likes and few dislikes; the Order 66 victories over various fitness industry figures has really brought the Genova's Witnesses together. Genova's popularity skyrockets as more and more people become curious about the buzz surrounding the Ruby Championships, and wonder who was responsible for bringing these major YouTube channels to their knees. Adam Pollard also releases a video announcing his impending return. The Ment may be entering a new golden age. After the Ruby Championships, everyone will know the Sith Lord's name.
-Lord Vader's show at the Ruby Championships goes down. The Iron Penny
Pincher didn't want to buy a proper spray tan, so he instead got Nate to
spray him with cooking oil that he got from Costco (???????). He rushes
through his entire posing routine in about 15 seconds without holding his poses, so
he awkwardly keeps repeating them all while his Star Wars music finishes
playing out (double the poses = double the points!). He wins third
place ... out of three competitors. Hilariously enough, simply by
getting a top 3 finish, he receives a trophy and apparently has
qualified for Nationals, once again proving the legendary Jason Genova
adage that "Sometimes nobody shows up and you automatically win." Jason
disrespects all of Coath Andrew's hard work in training him by having
the MC announce that he was trained by PJ Braun, who didn't even come to
the show. Jason is sad that neither he nor Adam came to the show to support him. But not to worry: A large contingent of
Genova's Witnesses bought tickets to the show to cheer him on. They are waiting for him in the lobby after the competition is over, and they hoist
him up and chant "Jason! Jason! Jason!" (Video)
The Year of the Monkey Prick (September 2015 - July 2016)
-In Jason's post contest interview, he declares himself to be more powerful than The Pope and the next Zyzz. He says that he's doing another show in November, but it's going to cost him a few hundred dollars. He says, "Someone's gonna have to cough up that money." We can assume that Jason Jewnova is referring to somebody other than himself. Although the spotlight was shined on Jason during the Ruby
Championships, he wastes the opportunity by releasing a bunch of
pointless videos in the weeks afterwards. He executes a series of Order 66s against large fitness channels in an attempt to draw more attention to himself: Lui Marco, Vegan Gains, Elliot Hulse, Christian Guzman, Nick Wright, and Kali Muscle, among others. Although the pisstroopers were happy to carry out Order 66s in the past, they quickly grow weary of them. Messing with Kali Muscle in particular proves to be a mistake, because he retaliates by putting a voodoo curse on Jason; this proves to be effective. Dissent in the ranks abounds, and Jason's videos go back to the way they were before the Ruby Championships hype: more dislikes than likes. (Video)
-Jason's run of awful videos continues for a good month. He makes a series of redundant webcam videos where he repeatedly stresses that there's no money in bodybuilding. Jason gets yet another new coath, a guy who runs a gym called "The Wolves Den" and he owns actual wolves as pets. Jason "preps" for his next show, which involves getting fatter than he was at the Ruby, apparently. Jason Genova posing in his underwear in the middle of the weight room is such a common sight in World Gym that people don't even bat an eye anymore. Jason also makes a video congratulating himself for reaching 20,000 subscribers. (Video)
-Lord Vader reviews a movie that isn't even out yet: the new Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens. He gives a spoiler warning AFTER he drops a spoiler. He declares that this yet to be released movie is better than the prequel trilogy, Episodes I, II, and III, but isn't as good as the original trilogy, Episodes IV, V, and VI. He says that the original trilogy was the best, especially The Empire Strikes Back, and that "Phantom of the Menace" and the rest of the prequel trilogy was horribly done. Jason is obviously just parroting the popular critical opinion of the Star Wars movies; in reality he NEVER talks about the original trilogy, and is totally obsessed with the prequel trilogy, constantly posting the cringeworthy romance scenes from Attack of the Clones (I HATE SAND!) on Facebook and YouTube, due to his not autism OCD fixation on Anakin Skywalker, because he feels like his own life is a mirror image of Anakin's. He clearly isn't willing to come clean with his true feelings: that the Star Wars prequels are the greatest cinematic masterpieces ever produced, and that Anakin Skywalker is the best written character of all time. (Video)
-Jason heads to the Dayana Cadeau Classic. He walks up to every single supplement booth (including one manned by MMA fighter Daniel Straus) and immediately begins telling them that he's a /YouTuber with over 20,000 subscribers, his own t-shirt company, his own supplement company, that he's about to collab with Chris Jones, and that his coath is PJ Braun. "It's not a lie if you believe it." --George Costanza. Before leaving each booth, he grabs an entire handful of sample packets, giving birth to the new nickname "Sample Prick." (Video)
-International YouTube celery Jason "Janoy" Giovanni Cresnova finally gets the recognition that he deserves: An article in the Miami New Times magazine. Amusingly, his picture on the cover page is next to the title "Bulk up for winter." One particularly great quote in the article from Andrew: "The whole story of Jason is him trying to become a professional
bodybuilder. He tries and fails, tries and fails.
Every time he gets close to succeeding, he slips down and starts from
square one. It's a story that has no end."The article later won a Sigma Delta Chi Award for journalism. Next stop: Time Magazine.
-Adam Harper re-emerges in an unexpected way: having frequently done business with PJ Braun and Aaron Singerman in the past, he bought another $19,000 worth of Blackstone Labs supplements for his retail company Get Fit Fast. His primary method of reselling products was to aggressively undercut everybody else on Amazon and make up for the thin profit margins through sheer volume, but Amazon pulled Blackstone Labs products off their site due to their questionably safe ingredients. Because of this, Adam claims in a phone call that he can no longer find buyers and asks for a refund for the $19,000 worth of supplements, but PJ refuses because he's unhappy about Adam violating an agreement to not sell their products below a certain price. Adam responds by claiming that he never received the supplements in the first place, and threatens to issue a chargeback with his credit card company and take Blackstone Labs to court. PJ is confident that he'll win any court action, because he has several pieces of evidence to prove that Adam is lying. Jason received a lot of hate for professing loyalty to PJ over Adam in a video a few months ago, but was he right all along? Adam warns PJ in the phone call: "I'm not small time." Rumour has it that Adam will be enlisting the services of ace attorney Scott Miller. (Video)
-PJ Braun is beginning to open up to Jason again, occasionally filming him for scenes in his new reality show, Beauty & Braun (no, the "Beauty" isn't Jason, it's PJ's wife). He also invites Jason to a private screening of the new Star Wars movie when it comes out. A number of bodybuilding industry celebrities will be there too, like Jay Cutler. Despite all these generous offers, Jason Jewnova attempts to sell PJ an autographed copy of the New Times magazine that he appeared in for $20.
-After the Paris terrorist attacks on November 13 in which 130 people were killed, Lord Vader calls for an Order 66 on ISIS for "Calling the French names, and saying they speak French and stuff like that." No apology video from ISIS yet. (Video)
-People are beginning to worry about Janoy Cresva's mental health; he starts making videos where he begins talking about something normal like going to the gym, then suddenly and without warning a spontaneous autism attack breaks out where he laughs like Woody Woodpecker and randomly yells out things like, "NATCHA BOY RIC FLAIR! WOOO! NATCHA BOY RIC FLAIR! WOOOO! WOOO!" and then reverts back to talking about what he was before as if nothing happened. (One example of many)
-Nate drives Jason to a Strength Camp event held by Elliot Hulse. Nate tells Jason, "Don't worry, I'll pay for all your Strength Camp stuff." Jason replies, "All right no problem." Pissening. There's a huge lineup to meet and take a picture with female physique champion Dana Linn Bailey. Jason gives zero fucks, completely ignores the line, walks straight up to Dana, puts on a pair of aviator sunglasses and takes some pics with her, gives her a copy of the New Times magazine that he was featured in, then leaves. With this, Jason Genova cements his status as the most alpha YouTuber. (Video)
-The Iron Extortionist has an impressive run of hustling money out of people: He convinces PJ Braun and Aaron Singerman to cough up $200 to fund his bodybuilding show in Hialeah, later convinces Lui Marco to give him $200 out of pity, and $300 from Chris Jones (also pity). Jason is absolutely convinced that Chris Jones is going to become his new coath, and that he's going to commute all the way to Texas for coathing sessions. Chris Jones might not be aware that he's going to become Jason's coath, somebody ought to let him know. (Video)
-Jason's bodybuilding show at Hialeah goes down. It had very little hype around it, because everybody just assumed that he was going to drop out like he usually does, so it comes as a surprise. Jason uses his signature technique of substituting spray tan with cooking oil. "Janoy looks like a Syrian refugee."--FitMisc user GenetalGiant.Although Nate was nice enough to drive Jason to the show, Jason instead credits former IFBB pro Mike Quinn with driving him in an attempt to gain cred. Jason finishes in last place out of four competitors. Amusingly, after the third and second place winners are announced, the two people left are Jason and a guy who looks just like Brad; Brad's doppelganger immediately begins celebrating before the first place winner is even announced, rightfully assuming that it's not going to be Jason. (Video)
-Controversy erupts when PJ Braun, in one of his Periscope videos, calls Jason autistic and says that he's gentle with him because "He's a little slow." Jason gets wind of the video and writes on his Facebook, "My heart so hurt. My own bother fuck me over I loved" Witnesses are worried that this will destroy the relationship between the two and bring an end to future ments, like the Star Wars screening. Not to worry: PJ gives Jason some free supplements and with that, all is forgiven. PJ is clearly taking his Beauty & Braun reality show very seriously and wants it to be successful; hilariously, when he posts episodes that don't feature Jason, they are swamped with mass dislikes and troll comments from radical Witnesses (eg "Disliked and reported for lack of Jason"), essentially forcing PJ to include The Iron Extortionist in the videos. (Video)
-The Genovasphere is rocked by a scandalous phone call in which Jason blames the Delray Misfits for his problems with getting dislikes on all of his videos. He expresses a desire to leave them behind and do his own thing, and then tells the caller not to tell anybody. Jason also asks him to donate $1,000, and in Jason's infinite generosity, will send him some "free" t-shirts in return, because he's a humble human bean. The phone call causes the like/dislike ratio on all of his videos to plummet to Marc-Lobliner-After-Being-Order 66'd levels. It's feared that The Great Schism (The Great Pissm?) will be upon us, where Genova's Witnesses will split into two factions of Genova loyalists and Delray Misfits defectors. It all turns out to be overblown when the Delray Misfits basically ignore the phone call, because they understand by now that it's just Jason being Jason. (Phone call)
-Before the Boca Nutrition grand opening held by PJ and Aaron, Genova attempts to scam even more money out of them by making up a bizarre lie that he needs the cash to pick up his long lost, California state record holding powerlifting half brother at the airport. He also makes up an even more bizarre lie that his girlfriend can't come to the Star Wars screening because she has a urinary tract infection. Nate goes with him instead (Jason said he'd bring his girlfriend, and he shows up with Transsexual Nate, it piss). Jason was actually promoted as a celebrity guest star on advertisements for the Boca Nutrition grand opening event, but he is treated rather disrespectfully when he gets there, not getting his own booth, and is quickly pushed out of the way by the Blackstone Labs entourage escorting Kai Greene when Jason attempts to greet him. Pitifully, the Iron Traveling Salesman is reduced to walking around the event with a big cardboard box full of "Enjoy The Ment" t-shirts and trying to sell them to random people for 15 buck each. (Video)
-It turns out that Jason's imaginary girlfriend who got a urinary tract infection might actually be real: A minor Instagram star named Christina "oldschoolbikini" Romanova. She has a fairly decent body, and as for her face, well ... It's not ugly, but it's unique, let's just say that. She is employed by Marc Lobliner as a writer for Tiger Fitness. She claims that she was in classes for gifted children and is going to be a neurosurgeon soon, despite the fact that she writes at an elementary school level (example article). Perhaps she misunderstood the meaning of her "Special Education" classes. Witnesses are suspicious that she's just leading Jason on and using him for Instagram followers (her popularity explodes after getting involved with Jason), but she soon makes a video confirming that they are in an online relationship together, and crowns herself "The Piss Queen." Jason sends her a Christmas present: Two boxes full of Blackstone Labs supplements that he got for free from PJ and Aaron. (Video)
-The equally delusional oldschoolbikini and Jason seem like a match made in potato heaven ... unfortunately, the video she made about being Jason's girlfriend is suddenly deleted, as well as her title of "The Piss Queen" on her Instagram description. It's rumoured that her boss Marc Lobliner cockblocked Jason by ordering her to delete references to Jason on her Instagram. A renegade pisstrooper general named Misc Celltech Brah leads an Order 66 on his own against "Marc Lobsterliner, my favourite natural crustacean." Jason makes a video ordering the pisstroopers to stop attacking Marc, presumably because oldschoolbikini told him to because she's in danger of losing her job. The pisstrooper army is getting more and more out of Jason's control. He makes a video declaring that he is no longer Lord Vader, because he has found God and turned to the light side, it's sickening, it's pissening, it Acts 26:18ening. "My soul is erected." --Jason Genova. (Video)
-Marc Pocketliner threatens to sue mentally disabled bagboy Jason Genova in response to the attack from pisstroopers (who he claims are harassing his family), even though Jason had nothing to do with it, and in fact tried to stop it. "I don't give a care." --Tony Montana, Scarface (1983). It's also discovered that oldschoolbikini already has a boyfriend, and she's cut off communication with Jason; at first, Jason deludes himself into believing that she's cheating on her boyfriend for him because he's a jacked YouTube celery, but he eventually accepts the truth that she was using him for followers all along. Although Jason had recently converted to the light side, he falls to the dark side once again (his soul was erected, but sometimes it goes flaccid). Despite Jason's approval rating being at an all time low in recent months, Witnesses cheer the return of Lord Vader after Jewbliner and oldschoolpotato's scumbag ways are exposed, and Jason enjoys full support from the pisstroopers once again. Even Brad appears in a video expressing support. Lord Vader issues a devastating Order 66 from a newly unified pisstrooper army on oldschoolbikini and her master Marc Lobliner; Marc is quickly forced to disable comments and Likes/Dislikes on his YouTube channel, and oldschoolbikini shuts down her Instagram. All of her potato articles on Tiger Fitness, which had been deservedly downvoted to 1 star, magically climb back up to 4.5 stars with fake votes. This also casts suspicion on the authenticity of Marc's supplements all receiving perfect 5 star ratings, and Witnesses begin contacting the Better Business Bureau to investigate Tiger Fitness for fraud. Lobliner has clearly built his company by using sneaky and underhanded methods, like paying off Jason Blaha (who had previously been an extremely vocal critic of the supplement industry) to shill his products. Marc promoted Bio Gro as the next big thing in the supplement industry, then later claimed that he never hyped up Bio Gro that much when it turned out to be useless. His YouTube channel also has nearly 300,000 subscribers, but most of his videos struggle to crack 6,000 views, suggesting that he may have bought fake subscribers. Some conspiracy theorists believe that oldschoolbikini was planted by Marc Lowrider from the beginning to manipulate Jason as revenge for the Order 66he suffered a few months ago. (Video)
-Adam Harper v. PJ Braun takes an unexpected turn with the court favouring Adam, despite all of the evidence to the contrary: the judge declares the text messages and phone calls between PJ and Adam to be unreliable evidence of Adam picking up the shipment of supplements. PJ's fatal flaw was not writing up an official invoice for the supplement order. He claims that he was casual about invoices with Adam because they were friends, although it's possible that the real reason was to save money on taxes. PJ threatens to file a criminal charge of grand theft against Adam. With both parties wanting the ordeal to be over with, they settle out of court with PJ providing Adam a partial refund, even though Adam had already sold most of the products that he allegedly stole. This will probably spell the end of any future relationship between Jason and Adam. If PJ forbade Jason from hanging around with Jonas for making him look foolish in a few videos, just imagine how mad he would be if Jason hung around with a guy who basically stole $19,000 from PJ -- and when forced to choose between Adam or "PeeJay", we all know who Jason is going to choose. In any case, this incident has proved beyond any doubt the existence of The Ment as a divine entity, and how people's destinies revolve around Jason Genova. It couldn't have been some random guy who ripped off former coath PJ and created a bunch of legal drama, it just had to be former coath Adam. (Video)
-Jason announces that he is coming out with his own supplement line and clothing company "Sickening Supps." Witnesses initially brush this off, because he has been talking about doing this for years now, and nothing ever came of it. This time however, Genova seems serious and is more aggressive when talking about it, probably taking inspiration from PJ Braun and his lavish CEO 10K a day lifestyle of Ferarris, big houses, and hot fit chicks on his dick all day. Witnesses begin to dream up all the possibilities: "Not In The A.M. Bro" pre-workout, "Hindenburg LXT" mass gainer ... Jason says that he wants to make products that actually work, unlike every other supplement company out there (he indirectly talks shit about Blackstone Labs with this statement, pissening). The Iron Philanthropist also claims that he will give back to the community, and pay all of his sponsored athletes a starting salary of $30,000 per year. Jason announces that he has started sponsoring people, and this is confirmed when Witnesses actually begin to find Instagram accounts of people who declare that they are sponsored by Sickening Supps (the quality of these "athletes" is indicative of the true budget of the Iron Jew). Jason talks about wanting to hire Albert Einstein to put illegal amphetamines into his pre-workout, but still get around the FDA. Jason will probably end up putting Sickening Supps stickers over his sizable cache of Blackstone Labs supplements and selling them.
-Jason claims that he has been contacted by Fox News, and that they want to interview him on Friday at 3:50 PM "before the politics debate." This sounds believable at first, especially in light of the fact that the New Times magazine genuinely did a story on him recently, but upon closer inspection, the red flags of this being a troll job become apparent: 3:50 is an auspicious number in bodybuilding.com Misc culture because it's "tree fiddy," and Jason stating that he's being interviewed before the politics might be referencing the Genova meme of blaming "politics" for every loss he suffers in a bodybuilding show. Even more suspiciously, Jason gives a shoutout to Gideon, who might be referencing the infamous $3.50 birthday gift, and he gives a shoutout to the well known troll Adam Pollard. The Delray Misfits express doubt about the interview's authenticity, despite Jason's insistence that IT'S LEGIIIIIIIIIIIT! Jason later announces that his interview is being moved to Saturday, because the Fox News station suffered a serious kitchen leak, and this ridiculous new development puts the whole thing to bed and is never mentioned again. (Video)
-The Sith Lord becomes fixated on the idea that Natalie Portman Liked his Instagram video. This is important because Jason thinks that he's Anakin Skywalker, and is therefore obsessed with the idea of marrying Princess Amidala from the Star Wars prequels, even going so far as to base his fake dead fiancee Jennifer on her. When Nate asks him how he's so sure that it's the real Natalie Portman, he replies that there are 30 Natalie Portman accounts on Instagram, but she must run one of them. Jason contacts the person who runs the Natalie Portman account that Liked his video, and the person straight up tells Jason that he's not actually Natalie Portman. This just makes Jason believe that she's denying it because she's in love with him, but doesn't want the world to know. This gives some insight into the inner workings of Pudding Head's brain: rather than gather facts about a situation and make a conclusion based on them, he instead creates a preconceived conclusion about the situation, then fits the facts into this narrative. (Video)
-Jason finally finds the chemistry genius that he's been looking for to get his supplement company off the ground: a freshman college student named Austin. They announce the grand opening of the Sickening Supps clothing store: It's the shittiest looking website of all time (yes, even worse than Genovapedia) powered by a poverty website template called Weebly. The t-shirt designs are horrendous and unimaginative, not making use of the infinite creative possibilities of the Genovaverse. One of the shirts just has a generic picture of an eagle holding a barbell (which was stolen from somewhere) with the text "Sickening Supps" below it. T-shirt prices fluctuate wildly throughout the day. Under shipping information it says: "Should ship fast." Under return policy: "No returns." Sounds reassuring. The website also advertises a special sale of 0% off (I really wish that I could make this shit up). (Picture)
-Jason and Austin are so goddamn incompetent that the Sickening Supps operation doesn't even last one full day before blowing up in their faces. Austin says that the website got hacked, which actually means that one of the potatoes gave out the password, or it was simply guessed (it was probably something really obvious like "sickening" or "Darth Vader"). What's more, a major scandal looms because unbelievably, people were actually stupid enough to buy $700 worth of shirts, and they demand refunds after the website disappears. It turns out that the shirts never even existed; Jason and Austin planned to take all the money as pre-orders, and then make the shirts later. Jason denies that he has the $700, claiming that he's "a poor pauper. Not a nickle, not a dime" and throws his business partner under the bus, saying that it's his problem. Jason later makes a video admitting that he stole "A couple hundred bucks, it's not that
bad, I'm entitled to it, I'm a human bean." It's discovered that he was lured into making
this video by somebody offering him a fake MuscleTech sponsorship if he
confessed to stealing the money. It looks like Jason's "Craig Titus prison rape workout video" might actually become a reality ... however, Austin later comes out and proves that he refunded everybody who ordered shirts, but Jason tried to stop him because he wanted to pocket the money instead ("It's an investment in the company, they'll understand bro, they're freaks"). Austin states that after all the smoke cleared, the $700 was totally refunded, and the only person who lost money was himself, because Jason owes him $60 for buying the failed website. This means that Jason lied about stealing hundreds of dollars in order to secure a MuscleTech sponsorship, which isn't really surprising, considering he once lied about shooting steroids in order to get out of admitting that he cheated on his diet. (Austin eggsplains the situation)
-Jason successfully deflects attention off his attempt to steal $700 by somehow doing something even worse shortly after: sending a 17 year old girl a video of himself jacking off. Despite the blurry video quality, and lack of any distinguishing human features other than a hand and a cock, there can be no doubt as to who it is: the telltale brass bedposts of Genova are visible, along with the rest of the 1950s decor of his grandma's former home, with Jason's Star Wars poster just out of frame. Survivors who witnessed this video report that it's not the visual that haunts them, but the audio, because Jason makes a strange sound as he approaches climax that can only be described as goat-like, truly living up to his nickname "The Gunting Goat." Any hopes of the video quickly being suppressed and forgotten about are dashed as news of it spreads across the Internet. Several YouTube fitness celeries even chime in with their own worthless opinions on the matterfor views, despite knowing nothing about the situation, or the law. Jason apparently sent the video to a girl who decided to lead him on to get attention in a Facebook group, but she ended up getting more than she bargained for ... amusingly, prior to the incident, Ron Harris was spotted on Facebook
warning Jason about talking to the girl because she looked young, to
which Jason responded, "Stop talk shit." Jason finally admits to being mentally challenged in a response video, which is a milestone, since he has always denied it. However, it's entirely possible that The Iron Scam Artist doesn't actually believe it, and in his mind he's lying to everyone about being mentally challenged in order to save his own ass legally. Andrew and Brad make Jason promise that from now on, any girl who wants to see his dick has to come over to his house and suck it. (Video. No, not the video of Jason whacking off if that's what you're worried about)
-It's the end of an era: "The Mecca of Bodybuilding" World Gym, formerly known as Delray Fitness, closes down. Word is that management was behind on paying rent. The gym's instantly recognizable ugly green glow was a mainstay in videos for years. The deplorable conditions and incompetent management is actually what enabled Jason Genova and Delray Misfits videos to be made in the first place; no gym with sane management would have allowed the frequent occurrences of loud swearing, Lenny blowing snot all over the equipment, Big Jay Masters bleeding all over the equipment, and the filming inside the change rooms. A notice is posted on the locked door of World Gym that memberships will be honoured at Palm Beach Gym.
-Jason finally suffers the consequences of posting copyright infringing Star Wars videos on his Lord Vader channel when it gets taken over by Disney, with 70% of the ad revenue being redirected to them. At first Jason is upset, and accuses Mickey Mouse of stealing 70% of his money. However, he eventually comes to see it as a positive thing, reasoning that they were generous in allowing him to keep 30% of the revenue. He quickly begins wearing Mickey Mouse shirts and bragging to random people that he's sponsored by Disney. (Video)
-Jason, Andrew, Brad and Lenny issue a rare lifetime Order 66 against Jason Blaha. Genova's Witnesses from the Jason Genova megathread at the FitMisc forum had spawned a spinoff thread dedicated to hating on the fat "fitness expert" Blaha because of his fraudulent credentials and cringeworthy alpha male tough guy act. The thread was slow for a while, but the Blahautism campaign rapidly intensifies and becomes even bigger than the Genova thread, as the pisstroopers discover that Jason Blaha is a massive scumbag who committed disability fraud, lied about being a CIA-trained combat veteran, and countless other things. He's forced to spend 12 hours a day deleting comments and banning people from his YouTube channel so his fans don't learn the truth (not a big deal for him since he doesn't have a job and hasn't worked in over a decade). (Video)
-Genova becomes obsessed with the idea of charging people $3,000 a day to hang out with him. He believes it's a bargain because Natalie Portman charges $17,000, which is where he got the idea from. He says: "$17,000 an hour, that's RETARDED MONEY! WHO WOULD PAY THAT?? I'll do it, I'll pay it!" Jason plots a way to steal $17,000 from his mother. He's pessimistic about his chances of having sex with Natalie Portman even after ponying up all that cash: "She's got bodyguards all on her dick!"(Video)
-Predictably, the Delray Misfits are quickly kicked out of Palm Beach Gym for the antics that they regularly enjoyed engaging in at World Gym. They are now without a home; rumour has it that Jason Genova trains at LA Fitness. Andrew and Brad journey there, find him and join him. The rest of the Misfits are still scattered across various gyms. Andrew is reluctant to film Jason as often as he did before in fear of getting kicked out again, so Brad, who doesn't give a shit, becomes a frequent camera man for Jason. His acerbic commentary is a hit among Witnesses, and brings some flavour to Jason's usual boring workouts and locker room posing sessions. Although Brad is known for mocking and bullying Jason, an odd friendship begins to blossom between the two, as Brad begins to spend more time with Jason inside and outside of the gym.
-Jason and Nate take a road trip to Miami to attend the grand opening of the Iron Addicts gym. Jason finds out that his rival and Order 66 victim Marc Lobliner is inside the gym. Marc once claimed that if confronted by Genova, he would tell him to get out of his face. Well, Genova decides to put that claim to the test. Surprisingly, Pocketliner is cordial with him, the two shake hands and make peace. With this, the pisstroopers appear to forgive Pocketliner for his past transgressions and the Order 66 on him expires, especially after he lends his services to help expose his former friend Jason Blaha, who is currently the target of the most thorough and destructive Order 66 in history as the Blaha Wars continue to rage on (Blaha will live to regret the day he crossed Jason Genova. See Blahapedia for more information). Marc even calls an Order 66 on Shredz because of the recent scandal of photoshopping their athletes. (Video)
-Next, Jason and Nate head to Orlando to attend the Europa fitness expo, where Rich Piana, another Order 66 victim, is in attendance. Jason shakes hands with him and gives his usual spiel that he's the famous YouTube celery Jason Genova. The Piano Man stops to think for a moment and says that his name sounds familiar. He realizes that Genova was the one responsible for Order 66ing him many months ago. Eyewitnesses at the scene report that the 300 pound Piana had a crazed look in his eyes, as if he was on cocaine. He tells Jason that he was pissed off about his social media being overrun by pisstroopers and asks him to explain himself. Jason replies, "Is jus a joke bro, a funny joke," which is his go-to line that he has used to explain everything from being caught lying to engaging in acts of homosexuality. It doesn't work this time. Piana is not satisfied and says that he wants to slap Jason to get back at him. Jason declines and nervously suggests that they have a posedown instead. Piana isn't having any of it, and suggests that they have a slapboxing match for five seconds. Jason reluctantly accepts ... what happens next sends shockwaves throughout the bodybuilding world: Piana slaps the shit out of Jason, hitting him with blows that are far harder than what was expected out of a friendly, joking slapboxing match as spectators look on in horror. After it's all over, Piana shakes hands with Jason (who looks like he's holding back tears) and makes him promise to never Order 66 him again. Andrew had once prophetically warned Jason that some day he was going to Order 66 the wrong person and get the shit beat out of him. The slapboxing incident has cast a dark cloud over the once amusing practice of Order 66ing various targets of Lord Vader's choosing. (Video)
-The slapboxing video rapidly becomes the most popular Jason Genova video
of all time, with over a million views. The fitness scene
explodes with news of the incident, and even some mainstream news outlets report on
the mentally disabled man getting beat up by a huge bodybuilder. The Piano Man is finally forced to make a video addressing this public relations disaster: he claims that he didn't know about Janoy's mental problems, and says that when he was Order 66'd some months back, he and his wife received death threats from the pisstroopers all over his social media. He came to the conclusion that they were all fake accounts that Genova had made himself, which is kind of funny when you think about it. It's possible that he believed that Jason Genova alone was responsible for ALL of the troll comments that he received on his YouTube videos and Instagram posts (Piano's YouTube comments are literally 99% trolls making fun of him, it's almost impossible to find a serious one). Piana expresses an interest in doing a collaboration video with Genova to patch things up. In wake of all this, Genova's channel gets 10,000 new subscribers as people become curious about the bizarre tale of the Sith Lord. Genova, whose number one priority in life is always views and subscribers (with dignity far down the list) later admits that getting the piss slapped out of him by Piano was the best thing that ever happened to him. (Piana's explanation)
-Genova guest stars on the International Iron radio show with his on again, off again nemesis Lee Priest. Jason calls in and quickly takes over the show, hyperactively giving listeners an extended history lesson of his bodybuilding career, hardly letting anyone else get in a word. Lee takes shots at Jason throughout the whole show, all of which go right over his head. Some highlights:
Jason: I was totally natural in that show, 100% natural. Lee: We can tell.
Jason: I came out big, and hard. Lee: And delusional.
Jason: I bought my mom a nice diamond earring. Lee: Just one?
Jason's mother can also be heard yelling at Jason for talking on the phone halfway through the interview. (Interview)
-After the Sickening Supps disaster, Genova enlists the aid of Andrew and Brad to sell a new line of t-shirts to assure fans that they will be in charge of the website this time instead of the Scamlord. Genova also seeks some real professional help for creating his own line of supplements, and PJ Braun expresses a desire to help him out in this regard. He wants to make a Jason Genova themed pre-workout and donate some of the proceedings to an autism charity (now why did he pick that charity I wonder?). He also offers to have Genova officially diagnosed by a medical professional to see what exactly is wrong with him ... can PJ Braun solve one of the saga's greatest unsolved mysteries? (Video)
-After months of Rich Piana being hounded by both Genova and the pisstroopers to do his promised collaboration with the Piss Lord, it finally goes down. The Piano Man gives Genova a boxing lesson, and they also do a workout session together. The highlight of the collab might be the opening shot showing Genova and Piana exiting the limousine and waddling toward the gym entrance, both afflicted with severe invisible lats syndrome (video). The YouTube marketing machine Jason Genova wears some dumb skull and crossbones shirt instead of capitalizing on the huge amount of publicity surrounding this event to advertise his new clothing line. Genova attempts to motivate Piana during his sets by yelling out, "Nothin but a penis!" The Iron Reverse Fake Natty claims to be taking trenbolone, testosterone and 6 IUs of human growth hormone. When Piana asks him if he's running test acetate or test enanthate, Genova responds, "BOTH!" Piana naively believes that this collaboration will finally put the slapboxing incident to bed and stop Genova from blowing up his phone every day. Little does he know that the horror has only just begun ... Genova's Curse hits hard and early, with Piana divorcing his wife Sara soon after the collab. Jason "The Delray Playboy" Genova claims that he took Sara out to Red Lobster and that this inflamed Rich's jealousy. (Collab video part 1 | part 2)
The Businessman Era (July 2016 - December 2016)
-A new coath arrives on the scene: Jonny Fitness, an ex-cop who was thrown off the force for some questionable conduct. For whatever reason he's now decided to sponsor Genova, and says that he will pay him $100 for every pound that he loses. Jonny offers to pay for Jason's plane ticket to come with him to a block party in New York City where PJ Braun and many other bodybuilding celeries will be in attendance, but his mom won't let him. Jason calls his mom the "Gains Goblin." He later comes out with a video claiming that he's considering suing his mom because she steals all his YouTube money and is ruining his life, but it's quickly deleted (video). But not to worry: Jason's new sugar daddy JonnyFitness takes the plane ticket money and instead buys Jason some expensive new clothes, shoes, sunglasses, and a haircut. Jonny also gets Jason sponsored by a place called Florida Meals, which makes packages of prepared food so Janoy won't have to worry about attempting to cook anymore. Jonny takes him inside Florida Meals and tells him to pick out a few as samples, Genova promptly proceeds to fill up his entire bag as Jonny watches helplessly. (Video)
-Andrew writes a heartfelt post announcing that he's no longer going to be making gym videos because the Misfits aren't able to get away with what they were doing at World Gym. He says that he will still film the occasional special video outside of the gym, but this effectively brings an end to the Delray Misfits series on YouTube as we know it. Jonny Fitness is thus counted on by Witnesses to be the saviour of ments. Jonny says he's getting Jason a tattoo, risking not only Jane's wrath but Lenny's, for making Jason a cookie cutter with a tattoo. Sickening G4P vibes abound as Jonny makes a strange video where he has Jason take off his shirt for a weigh-in, then zooms in on Jason's nipples and remarks, "Those are nice. Those are fucking beautiful." Witnesses begin to wonder just what Jonny's intentions are and what he's hoping to get out of it by spending so much money on the Piss Lord. (Video)
-After days of hype, Jason finally reveals his new tattoo: if you look very closely, it's a Darth Vader helmet, but it looks like a giant black smudge on his shoulder. Jonny claims that he signed as Jason's legal guardian in order to get him the tattoo, and now Jane is taking Jonny to court over it. At last, in an Instagram video it's revealed that it was one big prank and the tattoo is fake. But never mind that; the more important revelation is that Jason spent the night with a tranny prostitute named Jazmin Star who apparently tried to get Jason to pay for breast implants. "I don't care if she's a tranny, she's still a woman to me." --Jason Genova (Video)
-Jason kills yet another coath, announcing that he's split with Jonny. Jason claims that Jonny was a bad influence and was using Jason for his fame. Further, he claims that Jonny was talking shit about Jason's "girl," PJ Braun, Adam, and told Jason to stay away from the Delray Misfits. In fact, the Misfits had an epic video lined up with Lenny and the whole crew, but Jonny convinced Jason not to show up and to do the gay fake tattoo video with him instead. Jason gleefully details how he exploited Jonny for money, free clothes and a new computer before dumping him, to the approval of Andrew and Brad. The Iron Extortionist proves to be impossible to exploit; whoever tries ends up getting exploited far worse themselves, it's so sickening. Jason is still seeing the tranny as well, who Brad dubs "Shim." When Andrew asks if she still has a dick, Jason reassures him, "It will be off very soon." (Part 1) (Part 2)
-Witnesses sharply criticize Andrew and Brad for what seems like the
first time ever because of them enabling Jason's scumbag behaviour
toward Jonny. Upon reflection, it makes little sense that Jonny was
"using" Jason for his fame, since he's only famous in the tiny niche
community of YouTube bodybuilding, and he was spending far more money on
Jason than he could have possibly hoped to get out of it. It seems likely that Jason turned on Jonny because he wanted Jason to get rid of his precious tranny and put an end to their late night lightsaber fights. Despite being made
aware of Jason talking shit, Jonny refuses to abandon him because he
feels sorry for him, and says that Jason is just confused and paranoid.
Jonny insists that he will continue to help The Iron Ingrate. There are now three rival factions competing for Jason's love: The Delray Misfits, the Jonas Crew, and Jonny. (Video)
-The trannypocalypse is upon us as Shim takes over all of Jason's social media accounts and bizarre new details emerge about the situation: Instagram messages from a month earlier of Jonny hitting on Shim are discovered, and all attempts to contact Jonny to explain himself result in being blocked. Shim makes a Periscope video with Jason, and throughout the whole thing she argues with her ex-lover via phone who turns out to be the seemingly minor Genovaverse character former coath Wesley (the goober who once appeared in a workout video with Genova)! She taunts him with, "You loved suckin and fuckin this dick!" It seems like the whole purpose of getting together with Genova was to make Wesley jealous and to get Jason to call an Order 66 on him. It's also discovered that PJ Braun follows Shim on Instagram. Forget about a love triangle, this is a goddamn tranny love heptagon. At least they don't have to worry about Big Lenny since he already has his own tranny girlfriend. You really cannot make this shit up. Welcome to Florida, boys. (Part 1) | (Part 2)
-Witnesses are shocked when a video called "JASON GENOVA KIDNAPPED" is uploaded: the tranny love heptagon appears to have reached its horrifying climax as Jason is shown gagged and tied to a chair while Jonny roasts Jason and "The Delray Shitfits" for their transgressions. He calls Jason a liar and forces him to call an Order 66 on himself. But then Jonny says that despite all of Jason's faults ... he will always be his friend. It's a truly touching video and Witnesses are impressed by Jonny's forgiving nature. Still doesn't explain those private messages he sent to Shim though. (Video)
-Jason's Florida Meals sponsorship is cut off after they get bought out by Fresh Meals. He spends 16 minutes lying to Jonny about various topics: when the Sickening Supps t-shirt scandal is brought up for example, he blames Austin 100% and calls him a scammer even though it was proven otherwise. The Iron Reverse Fake Natty claims that he's receiving 250 mg of testosterone, 250 mg of tren, 6-7 IUs of human growth hormone, and 6 mg of Anavar from the doctor. He also claims that his mother Jane the Gains Goblin is okay with it. Jonny, once disliked by Witnesses for being boring and creepy is quickly improving his ability to extract ments from Jason with his laid back style of questioning that doesn't cause Jason to get defensive and shut down. Can Jonny be the next Adam Harper? He is also open to squashing the beef with the Delray Misfits. (Video)
-In random disturbing news, a 19 year old college student named Austin Harrouff murders and eats the faces of an older couple who were sitting in their garage minding their own business. The murderer is a confirmed Genova's Witness who mentioned Jason Genova in a video just days before eating their faces, and he had even made multiple tribute videos of Genova. Just another day in Florida, boys. It's possible that the ment depletion drove Austin to insanity. (News article)
-A sore appears under Genova's lip and grows larger over time. Witnesses speculate as to whether it's an innocent pimple or if he caught herpes from sucking his girlfriend's dick.
-The Florida Meals that Genova took a month ago re-emerge in a video where he still has them all in his fridge, despite the company being out of business for weeks. He also picks up a package with contents that look entirely green, Jonny identifies it as "cheese." Genova is in the worst shape of his entire life; during the Hindenburg Era he was huge, but at least he looked big and his strength was at an all time high. Now he just looks like shit, straight up. It almost looks like Shim got him pregnant. He continues waffling on whether or not he's doing a bodybuilding show this year. (Video)
-Genova clearly doesn't even lift anymore and the quality of his videos takes a nosedive. He says that he's entering the businessman era now and just wants to be a celebrity rather than a bodybuilder, because bodybuilding is too corrupt. He usually just repeats his mantra, "It's sick, it's piss, it's revolting, it's insulting" over and over again. In fact he's gotten too lazy to even do that and often just lies on his infamous brass bed (now known as "The Fapmobile") and shortens it to, "Sick. Piss. Revolting. Insulting." He constantly deletes videos that have a large number of dislikes, and Witnesses are pounding Jason's videos with dislikes almost as hard as Shim is pounding Jason's asshole.
-Big Lenny's arch-nemesis DALE!!!!! Dale Chance drives 10 hours down to Delray Beach for a much anticipated Delray Misfits collab video. The Iron Extortionist shows up to Dale's hotel room at 4:00 AM and tries to get him to buy him breakfast. Delray Misfits fans are annoyed at Jason butting in and trying to make himself the centre of attention during Lenny and Dale's legendary encounter. The good news is that Shim appears to be out of the picture now; Jason later claims that Jane the Gains Goblin put a restraining order on it. Jason also says that he, Lenny and Dale will all be competing in the Ruby Championships next year. (Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 3)(Part 4)(Part 5)
-Jonny's offer to make peace with the Delray Misfits is violently pulled off the table after the Dale Chance video because Jonny is unhappy with what they said about him. He claims that Andrew and Brad were lying when they said that they invited him to be in the video, and even if they were to invite him, he would have refused anyway; he lambasts the Misfits for belittling and mocking a mentally handicapped person in Jason. Jonny demonstrates potato reasoning in his video and sounds like Poonycheeps and Marc Lobsterliner when they tried to white knight Genova and insulted Genova's Witnesses. He also reveals some videos where he creepily filmed Jason with a hidden camera, and even a private conversation Jonny had with Jason's mom. Public opinion has once again swung in favour of the Delray Misfits in the Misfits vs Jonny feud. Jonny confirms that Jason isn't interested in dieting anymore and he no
longer wants to hook Jason up with free Fresh Meals after the fiasco
with the Florida Meals rotting in his fridge. He says that Genova is a
manipulative asshole who constantly talks shit about everyone who helps
-The Mellon Dollar Man says he's retiring from bodybuilding soon and is
going to be a movie star instead. He has delusions of being paid $250,000 for a movie, which he will be doing from November 2017 to 2019. "Worst case scenario I make
$50,000-$100,000." He then talks about putting the money in a "high interest security CD" which doubles every year for ten years and making 3-4 mellon dollars. He's already thinking ahead and worrying about getting more movie deals after that or if he'll just be a one hit wonder. He writes on Instagram that he'll be driving a "Royal
Roy's" within two years. (Video)
-The previously inseparable PJ Braun and Aaron Singerman had split up amicably months earlier as the
latter went off to start his own company, but serious bad blood is brewing between them now: PJ accuses Aaron of stealing an e-mail clients list from the Blackstone Labs database in order to sell them products for his own company RedCon1. PJ is even hinting at taking legal action against him. Another case for ace attorney Scott Miller? Lord Vader calls an Order 66 on Aaron Singerman for "stealing all of PJ's formulas" even though that's not what happened. Genova also calls another Order 66 on Jason Blaha, whose channel is rapidly dying after losing 2/3 of his views since being exposed for stolen valor by the pisstroopers. It's a bit redundant since Blaha was already under a lifetime Order 66, but it's a nice reminder to destroy the biggest scumbag on YouTube. The Delray Misfits sign up to Busy Body Fitness in Boca, the scene of Genova's infamous leg workout video with PJ Braun. Genova discovers that he's banned from the juice bar there because it's owned by Aaron Singerman. (Video)
-Jason announces the debut of his mom's sickening new cooking channel, although it suffers a setback because Jason ate all the food in the fridge that was supposed to feed four people. She gets 2,300 subscribers before she even makes her first video. The response from Witnesses is overwhelmingly positive, and they plot for a way to have Jane the Gains Goblin overtake Jason in subscribers so they can witness the ments from him flipping out. (Video)
-Jason talks for weeks about being paid to do a celebrity guest appearance at a kava bar called Kavasutra. The Misfits are doubtful since this boy has cried wolf so many times before, and they suspect another mysterious kitchen leak canceling the event, but this time it actually turns out to be true. Genova gets his own table at the bar and autographs photoshopped pictures of himself to a surprisingly long line of Genova's Witnesses; this photo is a hilarious contrast between the fantasy depicted in the picture and the reality. At the end of the night, the Mellon Dollar Man peels off in a car that he identifies as a "1950Somethin Chevrolette Corvette Or Whatever It Is." (Video)
-With news of the category 4 Hurricane Matthew about to hit Delray Beach, most sane people flee the city or at least board up their houses and hide inside. Brad drives his mail truck through the abandoned streets and sees what appears to be a fat old woman waddling around, but upon closer inspection it's actually Janoy Cresva with his shorts hiked up to his stomach. Janoy defiantly goes outside and flexes during the hurricane, declaring, "We don't care about frickin Hurricane Matthew, we're freaks baby!" (Video)
-Lord Vader goes on another Order 66 spree, calling for them against Chris Jones, Vitaly and Nikki Blackketter (for breaking up with Chris "Gooma," even though Genova Order 66'd Gooma not that long ago). He even makes a video with Jonny where he appears to be off his meds and says "Order 66 everyone on the planet" and "Order 66 all grocery stores except Publix." The once feared Order 66 has officially lost all its power and meaning. (Video)
-Genova and the Delray Misfits drive to Port Charlotte to attend the bodybuilding show of another one of Big Lenny's rivals, MMMMMMMMEL CHANCEY!!!! While there, they get to meet Hulk Hogan. Genova immediately launches into his spiel about being a YouTube celery and asks Hogan to do his famous "Gimme a hell yeah!" line; we are reminded of the time that Jason's mom met Don King in Costco and said that she really loved his "I have a dream" speech. The experience of meeting Hulk Hogan inflates Genova's ego to dizzying proportions, and afterwards he talks shit about the late Zyzz, telling him to bow down before him because he's far more famous and has met more celebrities than him. Lenny even fools Jason into believing that Hulk Hogan was the one who was excited because he got to meet Jason Genova. (Video)
-It's discovered that in the Delray Misfits version of the Hulk Hogan video, Lenny was shooting the shit with a slightly drunk Hogan and was about to get him to talk shit about DALE!!!! But Genova butted in and insisted on getting a picture, ending any potential ment. This causes a massive, long lasting backlash against Genova, especially in light of the current ment drought caused by a hotly anticipated Halloween party video's release being delayed (rumoured to be because of Jay Masters's actions during the party being too messed up for YouTube), and Jason's videos are disliked into oblivion. Jason makes a bunch of webcam videos complaining that he's down dumps because his life sucks and everyone hates him. "I just wanna swim with dolphins . . . I just want to go on a deserted island, live alone and evolve." --Monkey Prick (Video)
-Eager to restore the power of the Order 66, Lord Vader calls for one on Rich Piana's ex-wife Sara for using Rich for a green card. Most of Jason's fans now hate him, but a few loyal pisstroopers form a coalition with The Piano Man's large Russian fanbase and force her to abandon her Instagram. Jason tells Rich that he now owes him a collab video. He calls yet another Order 66 on Zyzz's brother Chestbrah for calling Jason "a retarded midget." In light of Donald Trump's recent win in the US presidential election, Lord Vader orders his legion to deport Chestbrah "Back over the wall where he came from, Australia." (Video)
-Genova claims that the new computer Jonny bought him is broken and demands that a fan send him a new one. Trolls from every corner of the world get together and claim that they're sending him a huge array of expensive gifts: MacBooks, cars, motorbikes, video game consoles, TVs, watches, and more. Andrew and Brad try telling him that he's getting trolled again because it makes no sense to give Jason thousands of dollars worth of merchandise for free, but he insists that IT'S LEGIIIIIT because they're all rich Saudi Arabians. They make a bet that if the gifts are real, Brad has to shave his Civil War general beard off. If they're fake, Brad and Andrew get to shave "trolled again" into Pudding Head's hair. (Video)
-After a bunch more pointless Order 66s (including one against Brad on his birthday for refusing to believe that Jason is receiving free cars), a guy named Annoying Biker gets into Jason's ear and stirs up even more hate against him by posting a number of phone conversations he had with The Piss Lord, wherein he calls his own fans "idiots" and "dumbos." After Annoying Biker offers to send him a free car, Genova offers to sell him Rich Piana's phone number, but he'll need to send him cash on top of the car. Genova demands expensive gifts from his fans in exchange for shoutouts, as if shoutouts are the most valuable commodity in the world. He scoffs at gifts of 15 buck that he receives from fans as not being good enough. This outrageous display of greed brings unprecedented levels of hate against The Iron Jew, although it sounds like he's desperate to receive expensive gifts mostly so he can shut up Brad. Genova ironically makes an Instagram video later grumbling about having to go out and buy gifts for his family on Black Friday; he probably went to the dollar store and bought some sickening packs of gum and shoelaces. A troll from FitMisc who actually did send Jason a TV (albeit a dated one) in the hopes of gaining his trust to
troll him later on shares text conversations with Genova, who claims
that he only received the base of the TV. It turns out that Jason's mom
the Television Goblin stole it because it was sent to her house. Another troll claimed that he was sending Jason a new iPhone, but when he opens the box on camera, it contains a Chap Stick, a Star Wars toothbrush and a Publix nametag with "Janoy Cresva" on it. (Video)
-Janoy hints at a collaboration with a mystery person; the identity of this person is leaked and it's Rich Piana. However, it either falls through or Genova was delusional about this collab in the first place, and Lord Vader is pissed. In retaliation, he does the unthinkable: calls an Order 66 on Rich Piana! He quickly deletes the video, but it's reposted, and pisstroopers begin flooding The Piano Man's YouTube comments and Instagram. Slapboxing round 2 might become a reality. (Video)
-Genova posts videos of himself in his car with a baseball bat, saying he's paying Rich Piana a visit at 5% Nutrition in Tampa to get revenge. Only half of his rage against Piana is because of the failed collab; the
other half is because trolls convinced Jason that his imaginary
girlfriend Mary in New York (who Jason sent a pair of $100 jeans to) is
in the Mafia, and Rich Piana wants to steal her away from him. Genova
now believes that he's a made man in the Mafia and even wears a poverty
mobster suit during his car trip. He suddenly has a new fixation on the word "literally" letting everyone
know that he's literally on his way to Tampa to literally bitchslap The Piano
Man, like literally. Halfway through the trip, he realizes that he doesn't know the address and asks someone to find it for him. He arrives and peers through a few random office windows in Tampa in an effort to find The Piano Man. He breaks a couple 5% Nutrition supplement bottles with his little league bat before calling it a day and going home. (Video)
-For unknown reasons Genova streams a nude posing session on Instagram, with his lightsaber swinging in full view. Merry merry hoey hoey Christmas fan buddies. Appropriately, Metallica's "The God That Failed" is heard blaring in the background. Genova later claims that it was Pay For Gay and he was paid $800 and it's no big deal because all bodybuilders do it. After being chewed out by Brad, he promises to increase his naked posing fee to $55,000. (Video)
-Genova tops off the Christmas season by getting drunk live on stream. After chugging back a few beers, he declares: "I ain't even feelin fuckin buzzed yet!" Takes one more sip: "I'm feelin fuckin wasted already man." He once famously claimed that eating vegetables speeds up one's molecular structure, and this is apparently on display when he groans about being hungover already. Viewers who tune in to the stream late and see The Man Getter moaning for his mommy while white liquid drips down his mouth are doubtlessly confused and disturbed. We'll leave it to your imagination as to what happened there. (Video)
-Genova makes another celebrity appearance at the Kavasutra bar, where
he attends some kind of Star Wars-themed orgy. We can only assume from
his pissening physique that he's playing the role of Jabba the Hutt. He
yells, "NATCHA BOY RIC FLAIRENING! WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO!" As slave
girl Leias make out with each other on a bed. Speaking of which, Genova
the Hutt makes a video a week after Carrie Fischer (Princess Leia's
actress) died, breaking the news that "Carry fish" is dead. It's assumed
that he doesn't really care because she wasn't in his beloved prequel
trilogy. Natalie Portman would be a different story. (Video)
Road to the Ruby 2017 (January 2017 - September 2017)
The Hindenburg in January 2017
-Genova decides that it's time to start training again and announces that he's entering the "Beat PJ" physique transformation contest where contestants can win $5,000 if they make a more impressive improvement than PJ Braun after three months. PJ is even willing to double it to $10,000 for Jason if he wins. This lines up nicely with Jason's plans to enter the CJ Classic bodybuilding show in West Palm Beach on March 11, and the much anticipated Ruby Championships on September 23 where he'll go up against Lenny and Dale. He claims that it will be his final bodybuilding show, after which he'll retire and become a movie star. He starts the new year off with the first good workout video in ages, helped greatly by commentary from Brad the savage. He threatens to knock The Spaniard's teeth through the back of his
head if he says "literally" one more time, so we can thank Brad for
curing that obnoxious affliction Jason's had since the Rich Piana road trip video. It's painfully apparent during the post-workout posing session that The Hindenburg has an almost insurmountable task ahead of him, having barely touched a weight for half a year, weighing about 220 pounds and looking like
complete shit, with pissening orangutan aesthetics. Even his legendary
Tom Platz wheels have shrunk down to nothing; training legs twice a year must
have finally taken its toll. To silence all the doubters, Jason does a Rocky-inspired stunt where he chugs a glass of raw eggs on camera. It's the first great ment in a long time that manages to endear him to Witnesses, compared to the extreme hate that he constantly received during the Businessman Era. (Video)
-Jason does grueling Rocky-style training to get in shape, consisting of running along the beach for 30 second Instagram videos. He swears that he will only show pictures updating his physique every 2 weeks, as opposed to every 2 hours like before. He still continues to drink raw eggs every morning, but PJ Braun forces him to stop. Genova also uploads some appetizing pictures of chicken that's still pink cooked via microwave. No need to be concerned about the Sith Lord; his immune system has become more powerful than you can possibly imagine after years of this revolting shit. He weighs in at 215 after a few weeks of training and dieting. Surprisingly, PJ forces Genova to follow the rules and buy a Blackstone Labs product in order to enter the Beat PJ contest. The Iron Jew immediately asks what the cheapest product is in the whole place, and he buys a Dust V2 pre-workout packet for $2. Dismayed at having to part with $2, The Iron Extortionist offsets it by extorting PJ for $30 in gas money, two bottles of supplements worth about $130, and a gym membership at Busy Body Fitness for a year. (Video)
-Jason is interviewed on MuscleSport TV by Gregg Valentino, the famous "Man Whose Arms Exploded" because he injected so much synthol into his biceps. Genova gives an incredibly delusional interview, once again claiming that he's going to be starring in a movie and has to spend 6 months in acting school, because he's going to have a scene with Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman. Maybe the story is about Natalie Portman stuck in a love triangle where she has to choose between two of Hollywood's hottest hunks. The Mellon Dollar Man also claims that he's making $1 per view on YouTube, and that he gets 10 million views per month. Gregg and his co-host don't really react to this and troll him like Lee Priest would, so either they're being nice or they're unable to do math. (Video)
-There's not much visible progress in Jason's update pics. His body looks more like a deflating balloon than actually getting in shape. Nevertheless, there's no indication that he's dropping out of the March CJ Classic show, and even claims that girls are coming up and hitting on him now that he's so ripped. He heads to the chiropractor who confirms that he has scoliosis. Blackstone Labs also hooks him up with a workout with IFBB pro Cody Montgomery, or Cody Montgomfery as he calls him. In light of everyone Genova touches turning to piss, Montgomfery begs Jason not to Order 66 him. Genova asks Nate if he can give him a spare drone lying around as a birthday present, he's entitled to it (Nate's drones cost over $1,000 each).
-Genova having his bodybuilding show entry fee paid for is endangered after Blackstone Labs is raided by the FDA for DMAA, a questionably legal ingredient in their pre-workout Dust Extreme. On top of that, PJ and his wife Celeste divorce after rumours of her cheating on him and the two fight over the Celestial Bodiez website (clothing company that she ran). Perhaps the Piss Lord is all that Pajamas will have left after his empire crumbles around him. Genova is down to 204 pounds two weeks out from his show. He complains about being carb depleted in a SnapChat video that's suspiciously recorded in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot. (Video)
-Genova seems to be aware that he's not in any shape to compete in the show but says that he's forced to anyway in order to be in Muscle and Sport Magazine. Even Lenny who is
normally supportive of Jason wants him to call it off. In a last ditch effort to not embarrass himself on stage, Genova tries some ridiculous broscience one week out where he puts Preparation H hemorrhoid cream on his gut and shrink wraps it to flush out all the water and sodium. (Video)
-Genova's Hyundai breaks down because he ignored the Check Engine light for years and never changed the oil, but not even this mishap can stop him from going over to the CJ classic and making an ass of himself, getting his grandma to drive him. Andrew says that he refuses to film Jason at the show because he looks like shit, so he gets Nate to do it instead. Jason's fat ass is rolled onto the stage and his flab jiggles along to the posing music. He competes against five people and gets last place. He attempts to lie to Andrew and Brad that he got 4th place for some reason, despite him knowing that Nate was there filming the whole thing. (Video)
-Jason tells PJ Braun that his failure at the CJ Classic was actually him being
paid $500 to come down and guest pose. He also claims that Muscle and Sport Magazine
is letting him write an article, even though Janoy Cresva can't even
spell his own name. PJ feels bad for him having his car break down and offers him a Nissan Juke if he successfully learns how to drive a manual transmission. It's unclear if Pajamas means that Jason can borrow the car if he succeeds, or if he can actually HAVE it. It turns out to be moot anyway since he doesn't even come close to learning, ignoring PJ's orders to stay in the Blackstone Labs parking lot and stalling the car on the road in the middle of rush hour. (Video)
-Witnesses discover that Genova is suddenly in Los Angeles with his sugar daddy Jonny Fitness. It's surreal to see Jason outside of Florida for the first time since he's debuted on YouTube. He's staying in a penthouse suite and claims that he's having important meetings with people about his acting career and clothing company. The trip does little to ingratiate Jonny to Witnesses since there are very few ments out of the whole expensive affair, and potato Jonny (or Jason) leaves a giant FILMORA free trial watermark in the middle of all the videos. Jason mostly just walks down the streets of LA while endlessly repeating, "Down here in LA, it's sick, it's piss, it's revolting, it's insulting." A random woman on the street recognizes Genova and berates him for failing to give her a birthday shoutout a year ago. Genova brags to taxi drivers that he's making A LOTTT of money on YouTube; curiously enough however the Mellon Dollar Man begs Jonny for help in paying his phone bill. He also asks Jonny to buy him food at In-N-Out Burger, orders two "McDoubles" there then pockets Jonny's change. (Video)
-Genova makes up with Jonas for the fourth time and they announce My Story Part 9, which Jason says is "the last part of the trilogy." A number of bizarre claims are made, like Joey Joe Joe not being present anymore because he's actually a female to male transsexual and is having a baby. Jonas admits that Attorney Scott Miller is homeless and it's hard to get him in a video because they have to wander the streets looking for him.
-Jason's car is still broken down and he's slowly turning into Lenny now that he has to ride his bike everywhere. Jason oddly passes on an invitation to drive a Lamborghini with PJ Braun so he can hang out with a fan of his instead, a genetic abomination who Witnesses dub "Half Brother Dan", joking that he's Genova's long lost half brother that he left stranded at the airport.
-Jason asks PJ Braun to give him a job at Blackstone Labs "with the least amount of
work" because Publix is treating him "like an Egyptian slave." He calls an
Order 66 on PJ's ex-wife Celeste and it's rather effective since she's taken over ownership of Celestial Bodiez and it doesn't help to have their new Instagram and
YouTube channel flooded with dislikes and "ORDER 66 CELESTE BONIN FOR
BEYARING BOTHER PJ" comments. Their Q&A livestreams are a disaster with pisstroopers taking over and telling Celeste that she met their half brother Dan at the airport. Conspiracy theorists suspect that PJ told Lord Vader to do it
in order to sabotage Celestial Bodiez now that Blackstone Labs is
coming out with their own line of women's clothing. If PJ is going to give Jason gas money and hundreds of dollars worth of supplements every month, he may as well get his money's worth. (Video)
-Genova bloats back up to over 200 pounds, blowing any chance of winning the Beat
PJ contest even though he probably would have received special favour if he had
at least put in a modicum of effort. He's making terrible videos where he endlessly repeats his "It's sick, it's piss, it's revolting, it's insulting" mantra, along with out of control bragging about his imaginary money and delusional movie career. It's an unpleasant reminder of the excesses of the
Businessman Era. Jason even attempts to start a GoFundMe to get him a new car, inspired by Witnesses donating over $1,000 to clean out Lenny's house, but nobody donates. The dislikes on his videos have reached an all time high, and his comments section is a cesspool of extreme hate and negativity where everybody calls him a fat greedy retard who should go kill himself. Jason's channel had been slowly but steadily growing ever since his debut on YouTube in 2009, with occasional spikes after major ments like the Rich Piana slapboxing incident; Jason had still been riding the wave of new subscribers and interest that he got from that to some extent, but for the first time ever he is now losing hundreds of subscribers.
-Brad has a long talk with Genova in the car concerning his crumbling YouTube channel, telling him that he needs to stop with the lying, bragging and to quit repeating his mantra constantly. Genova sounds unusually coherent and normal (in stark contrast to another manic video where he was clearly off his meds, riding his bike while yelling at traffic, "MACHO MAN RICK SAVAGE! SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM OHHH YEAH!" and giving passing cars the finger), and seems to understand that he needs to redeem himself after his poor showing at the CJ Classic, the Beat PJ contest and the trip to LA. Jason later makes a video promising to be a humble human bean from now on, with no more lying, and he will no longer say his annoying mantra. It's the first video in months that gets more likes than dislikes. The Spaniard declares that if you win the crowd, you win your freedom baby. (Video)
-Jason doesn't keep his promise to stop saying his mantra entirely, but he does cut it down significantly. He's even beginning to edit his own videos, as evidenced by him looping clips of the same footage multiple times in the same video. He has relapses of being a lying, greedy braggart, for example announcing that My Story Part 9 will cost $2.99 to view on YouTube, and pretending that Half Brother Dan's Mustang is his; when Jason is driving it and Dan tells him that he can be seen in the reflection of Jason's sunglasses, Jason says not to worry because he'll edit it out later, but he obviously forgot to. (Video)
-Jason gets an Acura TL handed down to him from his mother. Oddly enough she had it tricked out with ghetto chrome rims. The Man Getter announces a contest where 4-7 winners, 10 winners, 1 lucky winner wins a trip to Florida to eat with, train with AND SLEEP WITH The Piss Lord. (Video)
-My Story Part 9 is a critical and box office flop, making a grand total of $30 and surprise surprise Jason and Jonas have yet another falling out over it. Half Brother Dan was involved in its production, and he was expecting a big payday out of it to pay off $5,000 in credit card debt he racked up. In a phone call with a FitMiscer, Jonas says that Jason is frustrating to work with because he can't focus or follow directions to shoot scenes. This bodes ill for his aspiring Hollywood movie career. Jonas confirms that Jane confiscates all of Jason's money, his income from both Publix and YouTube totalling about $1,000 a month because she's his legal guardian and gives him a weekly allowance of $70, paying all his bills in return. This may help explain why he's such a freeloader and always begs people for money. Jonas wants to fight Jason, Andrew or Brad in a boxing match (????????). A lot of what Jonas says in the phone call is probably true, but he can't be trusted since he's a bit of a delusional potato himself, claiming that he could beat Jason in a fight because he's only half an inch shorter, even though Jason clearly has 4-5 inches on him and probably outweighs him by 100 pounds too. Jonas criticizes Andrew for making about $1,000 a month from the Delray Misfits channel but taking it all for himself, never paying any of his big draws like Big Lenny. Jonas claims to be friends with Big Lenny and this might actually be true since he once posted a video where he was with him. Jonas expresses a desire to steal Lenny away from the Misfits and centre his videos around him and Attorney Scott Miller instead of Jason. (Phone call)
-Jason does a workout with IFBB pro figure model and Blackstone Labs athlete Karen Yoakum. Jason claims that he suffered a herniated disc after the infamous PJ Braun leg
workout, which contradicts his earlier story of getting it after one of
his 20 major car accidents. Karen asks if she can be Jason's official
prep coach for the Ruby; she's not quite as jacked as Coath Debbie but he excitedly accepts her offer. He tries to get her
to come over to his condo, claiming that she needs to check his diet (yeah right, he wants her on the Brass Bed of Doom). She takes him through a cardio-intensive workout reminiscent of the Adam Era, including the dreaded burpees. Even the long lost Claw is making its return. She initially tries calling herself Coach Karen instead of Coath Karen, clearly demonstrating that she does not understand what she is in for ... (Video)
-Genova no-shows another scheduled session with Coath Karen, claiming car problems. However, these supposed car problems don't stop him from training with another IFBB pro Shane Eslahi and NPC competitor Tristan James shortly after. Perhaps The Man Getter simply prefers sausage. In any case, he's getting some good workouts in and his gut is slowly starting to not hang over his shorts anymore. (Video)
-A guy named JonnyBravo comes down to film a Jason Genova documentary, but unlike the last documentary, this one actually gets made. It's called "My Biggest Struggle" (wasn't that the name of Hitler's book?) and is highly professional but corny, with Jason regaling us with his experience of being bullied in high school: "Gimme your lunch money or I'll give you a wedgie!" He also admits that he "was born with slight, slight, you can't even see it, I don't even think it's like, 1% of autism." This shows a change in the way that he wants to present himself: in times past he wanted people to think that he was perfectly fine other than a few minor disabilities like ADD, OCD, Run DMC and dyslexia, but now he wants to be seen as somebody who has heroically overcome his disabilities to become a successful YouTube celery, and all of his bad behavior can be blamed on his disabilities. The Muscle Sport Magazine article that he claimed to be writing also turns out to be real (though obviously it was heavily edited by somebody who is actually literate), and it presents a similar narrative. (Video)
-Lord Vader calls an Order 66 on Kali Muscle in order to help out JonnyBravo who is currently feuding with him. Kali retaliates by calling all of Genova's fans retards because they follow a retard. This doesn't go over well with the pisstroopers since they feel like they're the only ones who are allowed to call Jason retarded. Kali also makes some connection between the number 66 and 666, calling all of the pisstroopers devil worshipers. Despite Kali Muscle having over a million subscribers vs Genova's 40,000, pisstroopers
completely take over the comments section of his YouTube videos,
enraging Kali and prompting him to make several response videos. He even reads the lolzy comments on his channel word for
word ("to end your Order 66 nightmare, you must read book and journey to the Jedi temple. When you get there, purify yourself in the warm piss waters of Lake Cresva, and swim with the ancient dolphins from the 70's. It less stress."). While the pisstroopers are dying on the battlefield for him, Genova blissfully vlogs himself going to see Wonder Woman and going shopping with his mother. (Video)
-The Order 66 against Kali Muscle is the biggest one in a long time and continues to rage on. Lord Vader finally appears again and offers the pisstroopers some support, repeatedly asking Marc Lobsterliner and Mac Trucc, "WHAT'S YOUR MOTIVE?" when they try to interfere with his Order 66 against Kali, telling them to mind their own biznizz or they'll be next. Even Big Lenny joins the attack, calling Kali a "porch monkey" and going on a rant about how it's too bad that Hitler never created his 1,000 year Reich. It's unclear if Lenny is genuinely racist or if he's just hamming it up for the camera, but it should be noted that he was once married to a Haitian woman. Plus he fucks black trannies on a regular basis. Jay Masters later chimes in claiming to have powerful friends in California who'll lock up Kali again if he doesn't apologize. Unexpectedly, Dale Chance gets pissed off at Jason and Lenny because he's a big fan of Kali Muscle, adding some bad blood to their upcoming showdown at the Ruby. The traitorous Jonas the Rat Prick is also spotted on Instagram trying to talk to Kali Muscle and offering him damning information about Jason, but how do you dig up dirt on somebody who already has a video of himself jacking off? Come to think of it, Kali "Chuck Basher" Muscle does too. (Video)
-Genova hooks up with yet another Blackstone Labs chick Diana Maybrook, an aspiring fitness model who seems to be taking the role of life coath while leaving the gym coathing to Karen, Cody, Tristan and Shane. Jason and Diana make a video addressing the haters and Jason boasts about hanging out with hot fitness chicks like her all the time. She calls him a "marketing god" even though he's currently in the process of posting 10 shit videos per day with 90% dislikes where he mindlessly repeats his catchphrases and is losing more subscribers than he ever has before. He's in dire need of another intervention from Brad and Andrew, but they've been on vacation for a while. Genova uses the movie Saving Private Ryan as proof that it's illegal to send an only child to war and that's the reason why Genova wasn't allowed to join the military. He says that they wouldn't send him into battle anyway because he's too valuable. (Video)
-In the sea of Genova's awful vlog videos which are all the same and have zero ments, he does post one amusing video where he weighs out all of his food, fries an egg then plops it directly on the scale. He gets another workout in with Tristan who rebukes Genova for dumping a gallon of olive oil in all his meals. He denies eating any cheat meals and claims that he's eating "distilled oatmeal." (Video)
-The Delray Playboy goes out for a night on the town with Diana but gets friendzoned by her on camera, as she brutally shuts him down every time he tries hitting on her or putting his arm around her, and she even says the dreaded "Jason is my bestie" and "Jason is like my brother" lines. (Video)
-Marc Lobliner said that he was flying Genova out to Ohio to be at a charity event for veterans, but he cancels his offer to pay for Genova's flight and hotel because he called an Order 66 on Alan Roberts from Every Damn Day Fitness in order to help out JonnyBravo, calling Alan an "ugly old fat man, and his wife's an ugly old fat bitch." Genova says that Lobsterliner would be nowhere if it weren't for him (this might be true for someone like Nate, but for Lobsterliner, highly dubious). Lobster Prick clarifies that Genova is still invited to come to the event, he just won't pay for his ticket, but little does he know that not paying for The Iron Jew's flight and hotel is as good as uninviting him. (Video)
-Jay Masters convinces Genova to enter the 170 pounds middleweight class at the Ruby so he doesn't have to go up against guys in light heavyweight who are way bigger than him like in past shows. The Misfits are actually complimenting Jason's progress in a non-sarcastic way; he's clearly lost a ton of weight, cutting down to 190 pounds but is in danger of looking like an Ethiopian crackhead who's lean but has little muscle. He writes on Instagram that his "jewline" is starting to come in. Amusingly enough, Jason is actually leaner now than PJ Braun who has gone full Hindenburg and is now sporting a double chin after hitting the bottle, dealing with the stress of his divorce and the various troubles with his company. There's rumours that PJ is working on getting back in shape and will actually be competing in the Ruby with Jason, Dale and Lenny. Lenny is looking terrible; say what you want about his gut (which is unfixable at this point), but he always managed to shred down for bodybuilding shows to the point where he was vascular and had striated glutes. Now though, he's actually in worse shape than he was a couple months ago, and Witnesses all fear for his health. Dale on the other hand is rumoured to be looking great, but Andrew and Brad are keeping his pictures a secret. (Video)
-Genova does a back workout earlier in the day before he's supposed to do a back workout with Cody Montgomfery. Piss. He's skipped out on several training sessions with Coath Karen, and she suspects that he's been avoiding her because he can't handle her conditioning workouts. He claims that his car broke down yet again, and even cries/pretends to cry on Instagram Live over it, but it turns out that he's telling the truth when PJ phones Jane. Finally Genova gets another session in with Karen, and he looks to have bloated up since his last workout with the Misfits, probably getting cocky after receiving compliments on the amount of weight he's lost and felt entitled to a little treat (don't be mad Skip). He modified Coath Karen's diet because he thinks he knows better, but he agrees to follow the original diet. (Video)
-Genova is weighing in at 196 pounds and his body fat is at 17.2% according
to a DEXA scan. PJ Braun seems committed to getting The Piss Lord shredded so he can surpass his nemesis Adam Harper, hence sending three coaths to harass him. Chef Crackhead lures Diana into his condo to cook some salmon with him while he's wearing nothing but his underwear. Despite being dressed for seduction, the friendzoning continues as he's forced to refer to her as his
"sister" but he still attempts to zoom in on his sister's tits throughout the whole video. At one point it sounds like he lets a fart rip right in front of her. He expresses confusion as to why he's still single, since he's "a good looking guy with a great body." They end up burning the salmon, so they abort the stove top cooking and finish it off in the microwave. (Video)
-After Witnesses get fed up with Genova's constant Nature Boy Ric Flairening WOOOOO high profilin strofilin impersonations, Genova decides to try a new one: he does an unusually good Elvis Presley impersonation, and it seems eerily similar to an Andy Kaufman bit where he would successfully troll audiences for years by pretending to be an awful, clueless comedian before blowing them away with a perfect Elvis impersonation. Really makes you think ... (Video)
-Genova streams an Instagram Live session while driving, and viewers claim that he got into a car accident because he was distracted with reading the comments on his phone. However, no one managed to save the stream of the actual collision and Jason claims that he walked out of his condo and saw that his back bumper was dented because a hater troll smashed it with a baseball bat. Whatever happened, Jane the Gains Goblin is not pleased and takes away his driving priveleges, though Jason claims that he's choosing not to drive because he's crab depleted and can't be on the road. (Video)
-Jason pays Blackstone Labs a visit, raving like a madman and begging PJ for money not even a week after he promised not to again. He claims that he needs it for something to ensure that he'll look the best he's ever looked at the Ruby; the implication is that he needs it to buy a bunch of steroids from Lenny, and even shows PJ a text message quoting the price, but the Iron Reverse Fake Natty might just use the money to buy more bling bling and Burger King for all we know. This picture pretty much sums up how PJ feels every time The Iron Freeloader shows up to Blackstone Labs and has to deal with his delusions and rambling. Pajamas confirms that Blackstone Labs is taking Jason to Mr. Olympia in Las Vegas in September, a week before the Ruby. The Mother is allowing it on the condition that she tag along. (Video)
-In another session with Coath Karen, Genova is surprisingly self aware of his weaknesses, noting his flat biceps and lack of shoulders despite looking the best he's looked in a long time. It's puzzling that he's self critical now, and when he's a fat slob Hindenburg he's suddenly "got that Craig Titus look. Huge and fuckin freaky!" PJ offers to buy Jason a Ferrari in the unlikely event that he wins the Ruby and if there's a minimum of 6 other competitors in his class, but for some reason Jason seems more interested in getting a Rolex watch than a Ferarri. Maybe because it's manual transmission? (Video)
-Jason's adonis belt is starting to come in and he's sporting some major vascularity, maybe Lenny really did hook him up with loads of skittles. The only thing stopping him from matching his peak in the Adam Era is that his stomach still has a bit of a "deflated balloon" look to it, depending on the day and lighting, but he already looks better than he did at the 2015 Ruby. Still seven weeks to go until the Ruby 2017, plenty of time to screw it all up. (Video)
-Nate's channel has exploded in popularity with 240,000 subscribers, and there's some weird tension between him and Jason in a Blackstone Labs video after the two had not done a video together in a long time. Jason later calls an Order 66 on Nate after someone showed him a supposed text conversation with Nate where he said that he doesn't want to hang out with Jason anymore because he has a girlfriend now and wants his channel to go mainstream. After Jason finds out that the text message was fake he apologizes to Nate, accepts his own apology and cancels the Order 66, but many pisstroopers refuse to stand down; in fact, most knew right from the beginning that it was fake but felt like an Order 66 on Nate was a long time coming because he's the ultimate cookie cutter and they feel like he used Jason and the Misfits to get his channel off the ground. (Apology video)
-Tired of being relegated to the friendzone, The Delray Playboy insinuates that he's banging his bestie sister Diana in an interview with Muscle Sport TV. Although he doesn't explicitly name her, it's pretty obvious who he's referring to by process of elimination. Diana is understandably outraged but makes an over-dramatic video where she insults all of Jason's fans and calls Jason a liar, even though nobody believed that they banged in the first place. Jason making up lies about people is just standard procedure, but she doesn't get that it's no big deal because nobody believes a word that he says. She says that she'd never let Genova get intimate with her and even says she can "prove" that she never had sex with him; what is she going to do, have her period on camera? She repeatedly tells everybody how MATURE and INTELLIGENT she is, basically admits that she was just using Genova for exposure and that her real goal is to gain a following by sharing her vast knowledge and experience with people, despite being a 20 year old bimbo with fake tits. Genova later apologizes to her, but her stuck up attitude in the response video rubbed pisstroopers the wrong way and they invade her social media, unprompted by Lord Vader. She deletes her Twitter and disables likes/dislikes and comments on her YouTube. (Diana's response)
-Diana clearly had no idea what she was getting herself into before deciding to enter the Genovaverse. This is typical of people who hear about Genova and his large following, but they don't do their research first, brushing off warnings not to get involved with him and be infected by the piss. They initially think that they can handle the trolling, but then when they actually experience it they're like, "Oh fuck." Diana runs crying to Marc Lobliner asking for help in dealing with the pisstroopers since he's been a victim of them himself. Lobsterliner white knights Diana by calling out Genova for Order 66ing Diana, even though he didn't actually do it and the pisstroopers acted on their own. Lobster Prick then tries snitching on all the pisstroopers who harassed Diana on her social media by posting up their profiles and contacting organizations that they belong to. He pathetically tries to call his own Order 66 on Genova as if he has any power at all to do this. Lord Vader retaliates by calling a real Order 66 on Pocketliner and he deletes his white knighting video. Diana is on her own now and will probably spend the next decade trying to dispell Genova's Curse. (Video)
-Speaking of Genova's Curse, another major scandal hits after Rich Piana falls into a coma for over a week: a troll convinces Jason that Piana died, so he falsely reports the news in a video that Piana is dead, but he also adds that Piana deserved it because he didn't collab with him. This causes a far greater backlash than the time Jason laughed at Greg Plitt's death since The Piano Man is the most beloved meme in all of YouTube fitness. Genova gives another Academy Award winning performance when he cries in the car over it with JonnyBravo. Jason later claims that the reason why he said Piana deserved to die is because he was hopped up on supplements and out of his mind. PJ Braun now has a public relations disaster to deal with since he promised to take Genova with him to the Olympia as part of Blackstone Labs, and he says that he might have to punish Genova by not taking him now. (Video)
-Rich Piana finally passes away for real after being in a coma for two weeks, so now Genova really looks like an asshole. In addition to that, the traitor Jonas the Rat Prick, still holding a grudge from the time PJ ordered Jason to dump Jonas over My Story Part 7 and always eager to sabotage the relationship between the two, stokes the flames by leaking a video that he secretly recorded of Jason saying that PJ Braun cheated on his ex-wife by doing Gay For Pay. We've claimed that "the hate for Jason is at an all time high" multiple times in these cliff notes, but he truly does exceed the previous level of hate each time, and this is no exception. As a result, Blackstone Labs issues an official statement that they have severed all ties with Genova and will no longer coath him, provide supplements to him or do videos with him. This is a potential disaster for Genova's contest prep; he recently had his body fat tested at 11% according to a DEXA scan and was well on his way to coming into the Ruby in his best ever shape. Now that he's been abandoned by all of his Blackstone Labs coaths, there's no evidence that he's even touched a weight since the session with Coath Karen over a week ago and he's clearly turned to comfort eating; he's looking noticeably worse than he was a month ago. The chances of him looking decent for the Ruby are grim, and at this point he is so despised that he'll probably be booed off the stage. Saying that The Piano Man deserved to die for not collabing with him was the biggest mistake of Genova's YouTube career.
-JonnyBravo visits Jason's condo while filming a new Delray Misfits
documentary which he claims has interest from a major network, and it's discovered that Jason's revolting shaker cup has
maggots in it. This brings to mind an old video where Nate visited his house and The Piss Lord assured him, "I have clean cups. I washed them. You can trust me."(Video)
-JonnyBravo and Diana stream an Instagram Live session where they openly mock Genova and ponder over whether JonnyBravo would fuck Jason in the ass for a million dollars. The very mature and intelligent Diana thinks that no one will record the video because it's "encrypted and copyrighted by Diana Maybrook and you're not allowed to use it." Diana is also spotted thanking PJ Braun on the Blackstone Labs Instagram post that announces the firing of Jason Genova; it's possible that she's so full of herself that she thinks Jason implying that he banged her was the reason why he was fired. The beginning of the infamous oatmeal burning video from 2011 contained this text: "The bodybuilding community has turned against me." --AKA The Man Motion. The quote was funny at the time because it was so absurd; how was the bodybuilding community supposed to turn against Genova when he was some obscure mentally impaired nobody? However, it proved to be prophetic and certainly does apply now. Nate probably wanted to rid himself of Jason long ago but feared
reprisal from the pisstroopers, but now that everyone is on the Jason hate train and it's socially acceptable to
dump him, there's no sign that he's still friends with him. Jason
streams himself watching the Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs Conor McGregor fight in
a bar with his mother, which is unusual since he's usually with Andrew and Brad
for such an event. After it seems like everyone has abandoned the Piss Lord, an unexpected person finally comes to The Man Motion's defense: The Motor City Madman, Jay Masters. He makes a series of Instagram videos going in dry on PJ Braun for dumping Jason yet still keeping Diana. He even sacrifices his own Instagram account by posting a bunch of pictures of PJ's gay for pay spreads, and his account is subsequently banned. There are also rumblings of another Order 66 video being made against Diana by pisstrooper admiral HeridaV, whose Order 66 Jason Bloho video hit 200,000 views and left a trail of destruction in its wake. Blackstone Labs quietly fires Diana. (Video)
-Jason's team of highly trained Blackstone Labs coaths is replaced by
his mom. Coath Gains Goblin is obviously not pushing him very hard, and
his workouts now consist of lifting weights with so little intensity
that he doesn't even break a sweat, with some gentle jogging on the beach
afterwards. His mom tries filming one of his posing sessions in his underwear
and they get into a heated argument after he calls her an "idiot". One week out from the Ruby, he
goes to get another DEXA scan for his body fat and says, "I'm scared that I've gained muscle".
Unsurprisingly, his body fat has increased from 11% a month ago to
14.9%. He makes the excuse that Hurricane Irma screwed up his entire contest prep; so what does that mean, he was forced to subsist on the Burger King that he kept in his freezer for a few days? It also fails to account for the months before that where he got progressively fatter. He weighs 195 pounds with a sizeable gut and it's no longer possible for him to cut down to middleweight like he planned, but still insists to Andrew that he looks jacked. I got
that Chris Farley look. Huge and fuckin freaky! (Video)
-Jason decides to start bulking a few days before the Ruby (now dubbed "The Special Olympia") and fattens up to over 200 pounds on the day of the show. He's now in the heavyweight class with Dale, so not only did he fail to make middleweight, but now he's even out of light heavyweight. Lenny was hospitalized for a week with atrial fibrillation so at least he has a good excuse for looking like shit, unlike Genova. Jason's already back in Hindenburg mode, helping himself to all the slop before the night show even begins. Lenny says that he gave Jason liquid Cialis before the show so he has a raging boner, intensified I'm sure by him and Lenny oiling each other up backstage (less stress). Jason wore the classic PJ Braun red posing trunks for the morning judging, but debuts some new golden posing trunks for the night show, presumably to help the ever-present piss stains to blend in. Just like the previous Ruby, he rushes through his whole routine and repeats his most muscular pose ("most autistic" is more like it) every 10 seconds. Hilariously, Jason is booted to the novice class which only has one other guy, and Lenny also has one opponent in the super heavyweight category, so both Jason and Lenny get 2nd place trophies, with Dale getting 3rd place despite looking the best by far out of the three competing Misfits. Once again, the Jason Genova adages of "Sometimes nobody shows up and you automatically win" and "It politics bro" are proven. (Backstage) | (Night show posing)
The Video Gamer and Hollywood Actor Era That Never Was (October 2017 - present)
-Genova says he's now done with competing. An hour later says he's doing one last show in November. Piss. There's no real content on his channel anymore, just shitty 10 minute livestreams where he stares into his phone silently for minutes at a time as he ignores the flood of negative comments, then finds the 1 comment in 50 that praises him (probably sarcastically) and replies, "Thanks brotha". Also has a tendency to say, "Give you a shoutout? Sure brotha" without even bothering to say the person's name. Pig Pen's spray tan still remains for several days after the Ruby Championships. At this rate he won't even have to get a new coat of tan for his next show in November. He helps make a video on his mother's cooking channel and whispers to her (not quite quietly enough) to run the video up to 10 minutes so they can get more ad money, it Jewening. Starts whining when she ends the video a couple minutes before the 10 minute mark. (Video)
-Jason announces that he's going to be a professional gamer now on Twitch.tv, despite never having mentioned video games before in his whole life. Some potato sends him a free Playstation 4 and a new desktop computer for gaming, then helps him set up and moderate his Twitch.tv channel. It becomes apparent that the sponsor wants to try piggybacking off Jason's popularity to collect donations and direct people to his own poverty videos which have 11 views each. Jason seems to think it's some kind of gay for pay cam show, listing prices for a shoutout, shoutout + dance, shoutout + posing in speedos. The video games are completely incomprehensible to Pudding Head, running his character around in circles and he's unable to even complete the tutorial in Grand Theft Auto V. His gaming career ends after one night when he's banned for posing in his speedos live on stream. Strong waste of $1,000 by the sponsor. (Video)
-The Spaniard announces that he's going to try out for the WWE. He can't even win one match in WWE 2K17 on easy mode, how is he supposed to beat Brock Lesnar IRL? (Video)